It's been a minute or two

 since I posted anything here. I've thought about it a few times but quite honestly would get too busy and forget. But I made it a point to make some time this morning. 

So we have been back in school for 2ish weeks. The first week was only 2 days and last week was a full week. Thursday I was so, so tired. Seriously, just exhausted. I was in bed Thursday night by 7:30 and asleep by 7:35. Adjusting to going back to school is always fun. 

Since my last post I went to the cardiologist again and he upped my medication - I kind of knew he would, actually I expect him to up it again when I see him on Friday. But my blood pressure has been within the normal range now. I've worked out a few times, but honestly last week was so exhausting that I didn't workout as much as I had hoped I would. I need to move faster in the morning or I need to stop thinking I have to get to school by 6:30am. I am due there at 7am but seem to think it is necessary for me to get there earlier. I need to start setting things up before I leave the day before so that I can just walk in and things are ready to go. Anyway, it's a work in progress. The first few weeks are always a little chaotic until I fall into a routine and it becomes something I can do no matter what. I'll get there. I need to carve out 15 minutes in the morning to workout. I like doing Supernatural in the mornings. It really gets me moving and feeling good. Then I need to add weights in a couple of evenings a week. It's a little difficult right now since it's pool season. I come home and Hubby is waiting for me to get in the pool. So I get in the pool, don't get me wrong, I love it. It's a great way to really relax and unwind after a day. But we end up in there until 5pm. Then he has to workout and I have to workout and it's 6pm before we get dinner and we are in bed by 8pm. I'm not sure why I'm so hung up on that. So we are in bed by 8pm. So what? What exactly would happen if I could stay up later? I'd watch more TV? That's not necessary. I actually rather like this because we watch one show a night and if we miss something, we can watch it the next night so we have things to watch. So I'm not sure why I'm so hung up on staying up later. It is because I associate it with old people? Maybe. But guess what? We are old. And I work a difficult job that requires a decent amount of rest every day. So I need to lose my weird thoughts about dinner time and bed time and just accept that's the way things are. I had no problem going to be that early during the summer. None. So why is it an issue during the school year? Because I don't have time to do things I want to do after I come home from work? But that's not true. I do have time. Is it because I don't have time to do things I want to do AND hang out on the couch for a few hours? I think that might be it. I want time to do everything that I want. Not only time but the energy. And during school days I don't always have the energy. When I come home from school, I feel like I'm pulled in a hundred different directions. I feel like I need to spend time with Hubby. I feel like I need to workout. I feel like I need to work on my business. I want to spend time vegging on the couch. I don't have time to do all those things. I try to combine things, like work on my business while I veg on the couch. That works somewhat but not all the time. Maybe if I devote certain days to certain things then I won't feel so pulled. So if on Monday and Wednesday nights I workout. Then on Tuesday and Thursday nights I can devote time to the business. That way I'll have time all the days to spend time with Hubby in the pool. That makes a lot more sense then trying to do everything at once. So I will devote certain days to certain activities and that should ease up the burden of doing it all. Also, then I don't have to make decisions. I am so tired of making decisions after a school day, I just don't care about anything. So that sounds like a good plan. 

Let's talk about my weight. When I was at the doc's a couple of weeks ago, she mentioned Premier Protein. She said I should drink 4 of these a day and it would help me lose weight. She said that in many ways it worked like the GLP-1 drugs in that it slowed things down and you don't become as hungry and therefore you eat less. Now over the years I have managed to quit my binge eating and to not eat as much junk as I used to - though I still eat more junk than I should. So I thought that overeating was not really an issue with me. I was kind of wrong. Drinking these has really cut down on what I eat. I am not hungry and I just don't eat as much. This has led to an 8 lb weight loss. Not earth shattering, but better than I've been doing. So between eating better with Hubby and these little drinks, things are finally beginning to move in the right direction. I just need to stop focusing on the number on the scale (something I thought I had beat years ago) and focus on how I feel. 

A quick update about the cardiologist and then I'm done here. Went to the cardiologist last Friday and found out I'm in Stage B heart failure. 

Stage B heart failure, also known as asymptomatic or silent heart failure, is when someone has changes in their heart function but has not yet developed symptoms. People with stage B heart failure may have structural heart disease, increased filling pressures in the heart, or other risk factors. An echocardiogram (echo), which is an ultrasound of the heart, can diagnose stage B heart failure by showing an abnormal appearance of the heart. Most people with stage B heart failure have an ejection fraction (EF) of 40% or less, which means the heart is having trouble pumping enough blood to the body

So I have some structural changes in my heart but I have not begun to show symptoms yet. This was discovered by my echocardiogram a month or so ago. It could be due to my high blood pressure. It could be due to my workouts. What we do know is that we need to get it under control. So he upped my blood pressure medication and I have to see him again this Friday. I'm trying not to freak out over this but it is a little disconcerting when it's your heart. I feel a slightly irregular beat and freak out that something is wrong. I feel like I can't take a deep breath and freak out that something is wrong. I can't live like this. I guess I will get used to it in time, but it's still kind of new so still very scary. 

Okay, I think I've gotten caught up on my life. Time to get moving.