Start where you are at

 A large part of my problem with workouts and my weight, etc., is the fact that I used to be really hardcore. I tell people I used to be an athlete because that's the easiest way to describe it. I was hardcore. I used to workout twice a day. I would get up in the morning and go for a run in the park. Then, after a long day at the lab, come home and either swim in the ocean or do a weight workout. Weekends were reserved for long workouts; bike rides or runs. It would not be uncommon for me to ride from the ranch to Kailua to a meeting on Saturday morning, then home again. Easily 20+ miles. Or I would take my car to the meeting and then do a 6 mile loop around Kailua. Since I was never fast, that would take me an hour - an hour and a half. So yeah, I used to be really hardcore. Why is that a problem now? Because I have a tendency to compare myself to who I was then. First, I was easily 50 lbs lighter and I was 25 years younger. A very different person than I am now. That doesn't mean I still can't be hardcore, I just have not been hardcore for quite a while so I need to start where I'm at and not where I was. 

The last few days I've been trying to wrap my head around that. I am old. I am extremely overweight. I need to start here and not think I can go bust out a workout that is above my abilities right now. That's what I've been trying to do the last few days. Walking outside is completely out of the question right now. We are having these blazing, blazing temperatures. Even at 4am it's almost 90F already. So yeah, going outside is pretty much not happening right now. I also haven't been going to the gym because of my knee- my left knee this time. So I had kind of given up on working out. Then Hubby suggested we get a bike stand so I could ride my bike in the house. The bike is much easier on the knees and having a stand in the house I can easily ride and not worry about the weather. So we got on. I set it up the other day and rode for 10 minutes and thought I was going to die. So I need to make that a regular thing. And yes, if I only ride for 10 minutes at a time, so be it. That's where I am now. And then I remember Supernatural. I haven't done that in months and above all it is fun. Also, I can go as easy or as hard as I want to. So for the last 3 mornings I've been doing that and it has been a hoot. I'm able to stand in one place without moving around too much and that is awesome. I've started on the low workouts just because I didn't know how it would feel after not doing it for so long. Today I can really feel it in my upper arms. Yay!!!!

Paleo is going well. Really. Really. Well. Hubby is all in on this and it is awesome to see. It is so much better when you have a partner in it with you. I weight myself every Monday morning for Lumen and this Monday I was down 3 lbs. Now I'm pretty sure that was mostly bloat and water, but I'll take it. I feel so good too. I don't feel like I'm 6 months pregnant. Hubby went out to lunch with the boys yesterday and he had grilled wings with only salt and pepper on them and a salad. He did have 3 beers but he said he felt yucky after that. I guess it was just getting him at the right time to get him fully on board with Paleo. I love it. 

So, the point, and I do have one, is that I can't think of myself the way I used to be. I have to think of myself the way I am now and deal with it. I have to start where I am. If I stick with this program, I'll get back to where I was, though I don't know that I'll ever do two workouts a day again. I'm not racing anymore. But here is where I start. Let's see where this takes me.