Step Away From the Cake

 I forgot the most important part of the last post. When first told I have cataracts my initial response was that I'm too young to have them. And while this is partially true, it led to some good mental revelations.  A little backstory. My father passed away when I was 12 years old. I was super sad, but I also understood that old people die. That was the course of nature. I'm sure other people died in the intervening years, but the next 'brush' with death I remember is when I was 19. A girl I had gone to school with was killed in a motorcycle accident. This really shook me. We weren't close or anything, in fact I don't think I'd seen her in years, but this was the first time someone my age, that I knew had died. That shook me. Made me realize that I'm not invincible. I got it. Again, an interval of years and I'm sure people died, in fact I know they did. My brother died. My grandparents died. And I'm sure there were others I'm forgetting. And

 I'll start with the worst first. I had signed up for a rock climbing class at REI. That class was yesterday and I didn't go. I had a feeling this would happen. So while in the shower yesterday, I did a little mental digging to find out exactly why I didn't go. I came down to social comparison. I was afraid of being the oldest and largest person there. That's actually what it boiled down to. Now logically that is completely ridiculous. I'm sure there are people older than me who climb rocks. I'm sure there are. I'm also sure that some people who climb rocks weight what I do or more. Also, most people, when they see someone my age doing something for the first time, are super supportive and encouraging. So I ended up not trying something because of thoughts in my head. Ugh!!!  I thought I had worked through most of this, clearly not. So that was the worst thing that happened this week.  On Friday, something that seemed like bad thing but is actually a good th