Step Away From the Cake

 So while I haven't stayed off Facebook completely, I have taken a huge step back from it and it has most definitely helped. I spend my time doing the things I want to do and learning how to do new things. I've mastered my air brush - which was much harder than it sounds. I've played around with resin for some of my laser designs. I've made things that I wanted to make and am in the process of painting and putting them together. I've also made a number of tumblers and mugs. So yeah, not letting Facebook derail me has really helped a lot.  In other news, school was remote for 2 days. The teachers had to go in but the students were online. I actually enjoyed it. I got to get my lab cleaned up and I got to hang out and with the other science teachers which is something we never get to do. But, I hate online so with any luck at all we will be back on Monday.  I really got nothing much to say. I'm trying to kill time because it is freezing cold outside and I don'...

 I feel like I have 13,000 things going at the same time and nothing is doing well. I also feel like I don't have time for things I want to have time for. So it's time to take a step back and regroup. I'm going to stay off Facebook today and just work on the things that I want to work on in my real life - not my online life. I need to master my airbrush - something that I thought would be so easy is not. I need to paint and glue some stuff. I want to cut some more stuff. I need to find a good place to get wood that is reasonable. So many business things to do.  For my real job, I need to figure out what I'm going to post on the Google classroom since we will be remote for 2 days. I do have a project they can do which is what I will probably use.  So many, many things.  I've discovered though that I like being busy during the day - duh!! I knew that, but I didn't really know that. I work around here during the day and by bedtime I'm exhausted. That leads to ...

 First I want to comment on yesterday's post. That was part of an exercise and it was an eye-opener. I had no idea that I thought those things. None. When walking Mavy I dug in a little deeper and honestly think that goes back to my childhood. My parents valued intelligence and smarts over looks and sports ability, so that's what I grew up thinking is important - and it is. But, if I didn't know something I would try to avoid doing it. I never thought this was perfectionism because I have no problem getting up in front of people and making a fool of myself. I also have no problem learning new things and failing at them. What I apparently have a problem with is not knowing something and not knowing where to go to learn. I tried a personal trainer for 6 months and that really didn't help much. It was an interesting thing to learn about myself when I thought I knew most things. What I did do yesterday is go to the gym, workout on things I've never used before. And gues...

 I'm not valuable because:  I have a tendency to start and not finish things I can be extremely judgmental of other people I feel like people don't take me seriously I have a tendency to not speak up for myself I will sometimes take the easy out of a situation I don't follow through on things I have a bunch of unfinished projects in my closet I have some great ideas but no drive behind getting them done I feel like an imposter at my job This is ridiculous. How many people, some that I know personally, have started things and never finished them? Lots and lots. For lots and lots of reasons. If this is why I consider myself not valuable, that is completely insane.  As for people not taking me seriously, that's because I don't push myself or my knowledge. I know things. I really and truly know things. But I tend to sit back and let others take the lead in things I'm knowledgeable in. So that's on me not them. I feel like they don't take me seriously but I d...