Yesterday was an emotional day

-

 We let Bella go yesterday and it was very, very emotional. I'll be writing about it in detail over on Feather, Fur, and Fins, but I did want to set the stage here. The good news was that I allowed myself to be incredibly sad most of the day. I cried in the morning. I cried in the afternoon. I cried when it happened. I cried after. The point is, I didn't think that I needed to be strong for anyone except me. And if that meant I cried a lot, I cried a lot. It was rather freeing not trying to be strong for anyone. I talked with Hubby during the day about the event coming and about Bella. We laughed, we cried, we were sad and it was all okay. Feel the feelings. In the past I have felt like I had to hold it in so that I didn't upset Hubby or whatever (I'm not even clear on my thinking here) but yesterday I just let it go. I had to deal with my stuff and he had to deal with his stuff and we had to deal with our stuff together. It was actually very good. Trying to protect someone never, ever works out. So it was very, very sad day but I already feel like I'm dealing with it this morning. I'm thinking about her and not crumbling into a sobbing mess. Am I still sad? Yes. But I also realize that I did this for her, not me. 

Okay, time to move on - not forget - just move on. Today is June 1. I have been out of school for 5 days and I haven't really done much of anything. Been to the gym once. Did Supernatural a couple of times. We knew this was coming with Bella and all my energy was kind of focused on that. It's hard to think or do other things when you know your going to say goodbye to your a piece of your heart. Yes, it's an excuse but it's also the truth. I also was taking some days off from almost everything to kind of recover. This school year took it out of me and I needed some time to get over it. I'm beginning to feel like I have.  So, since this is June 1st and I have lots of things I want to work on this summer and I am a sucker for new beginnings, new starts, whatever you want to call them. Today it really begins. 

I have laid out a workout plan for the next two months that involves going to the gym 4 days a week. Monday/Tuesday and Thursday/Friday. I will be alternating upper and lower body workouts. I will also be doing Supernatural every afternoon. I can't decide if I should take a day off completely or not. My reasoning is that Supernatural is not a super long workout and usually not particularly intense. So I will have to see how I feel and if I feel the need I will take a Saturday or a Sunday off completely. I am also focusing on food!!! I've been pretty good but I want to be really good. I'm okay with the sugar, that is not really a problem. And I'm okay with the alcohol, that's not much of an issue either. It's the actual food. Eating bread, though I can do that occasionally. Eating enough is really my problem. Left to my own devices I will just nibble and not eat enough, so that's where my focus will be. Measuring and logging my food. 

Alright, time to walk Mavy

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

There are many ways to measure success,

-
and today I found yet another one. The Great Aloha Run this morning was just awesome. I didn't break any records, it was not my best time by far, but I think this was one of my best races ever. After getting up at 4 a.m., driving to the finish line, catching a bus to the start, standing in line for the port-a-potties(more on this later), I still found myself with over 45 mins before the race started. So I found a place to sit and people watched for 1/2 an hour - that is always fun. Finally, at 6:45 we headed out to the start. One of the things the Great Aloha Run does is they have the Sounds of Freedom. These are military units from all over the island that run in formation singing cadence the whole way. They line up on the side of the road and they have a silent start 8 minutes before the race starts. It's always a special sight to see them go. I'm a flag waving fool and when I see our military I just get all gushy. I feel so proud to live in a country where young...
Read more

Colloidal Silver

-
colloidal silver is very fine particles that are suspended in liquid, usually water. This apparently has antimicrobial properties and has been used externally to treat wounds and burns to prevent infection. Working in the lab we get lots of nasty, nasty burns. You ain't been burned till you've been burned with hot sodium hydroxide - yow momma!!!! Anyway, we always kept a jar of colloidal silver around and used it on burns. It not only helped it heal it seemed to reduce the pain. I don't know how it just did. Now, some folks think you should drink this. They say it has antibiotic properties and is fairly harmless to drink. I don't know if that's true but it sure would be nice if it was. I hate taking antibiotics for a number of reasons. It would be nice to be able to drink something and have the same thing happen. colloidal silver has also been used to keep potable water drinkable for long periods. This sounds like some pretty amazing stuff. Being the scien...
Read more

My blog is great!!!

-
Look to the left there. My blog has been rated by blogged.com as Great!!! I scored 8.5 out of 10. Woo Hoo!!! I don't normally get excited over things like this, but I'm on a mission to create great blogs and this is just a little validation. So for some reason I was incredibly busy last night and stayed up way past my bedtime. As a result I didn't get up this morning. Well, that and the fact that is was freaking cold. We are in this spring weather cycle where it is warm and beautiful during the day, and cold, cold, cold at night. Makes for good sleeping but hard getting out of bed. Fe-Lady is raising funds for a really, really good cause. Go here and help her out why don'tcha. In my humble opinion there is not enough we can do to help out our American Heroes. So go, give, it'll feel good...... That's it for now. I need to get some work done.
Read more