The whole weight thing

Friday, Marcy 25th 

Since March 18th I've been logging my food and really putting an effort into losing weight. Okay, that's not completely true. I have been logging my food, but I haven't been weighing and measuring it all. I have been working out more but still not enough. And junk food has snuck in two or three times. That's enough. I do want to lose some of my reserved fat. I do want to feel better, have more energy, and be healthier. But letting things slip here and there is just not the way. But I know myself too. I know that I generally slip and slide in the beginning. I do. Someone pointed that out to me years ago and it's a pattern that has held for almost my entire life. When I start something I tend to be a little more lackadaisical about it in the beginning. Once I get into the routine of whatever it is, I'm rock solid and it's hard to break my stride. That makes complete sense. When I started meditating I had the hardest time remembering to do it every single day. Now it's almost like breathing. I get up, make coffee, meditate. Even if I have lots to do, I always get up early enough to get my meditation in. So I just need to stick with this and make it a strong habit. It's probably a habit that would serve me the rest of my life. I have a tendency to gain weight if I'm not paying attention only because I have a tendency to underestimate how much I eat. So logging my food should become a lifelong habit. 

You know, there are so many things where it is not cut and dry, black and white for everyone. You have got to find what works for you. I discovered years ago that weighing myself every single day worked for me. Awareness works for me. But then I listened to someone and I stopped for years. And now I'm the biggest I've been in easily 20 years. I listened to someone who told me that cardio was bad. That's not true. Excessive cardio is bad. Hours and hours of cardio is bad. But getting up and moving every day is not bad. It's good. I took the 'cardio is bad' as a reason to do nothing. That is what is bad. I took walking is the best thing you can do as an excuse to do absolutely nothing else. Phoenix in summer makes walking impossible so that meant for 2-3 months I sat on my ass. That is far worse than doing a little cardio daily. I agree that you shouldn't stress yourself out with hours of cardio every day. Also, what level are you working at? I do my Supernatural and it's fun and I sweat but I'm not breathing hard and gulping for air. I'm just having fun. It is like playing, which is what I call it. I believe that people have to be careful how they word things and understand that not everyone is the same. Cardio is bad. That can translate into don't do anything. And that is far worse. 

So starting today, I'm going to work on getting really serious with my diet/exercise. My goal is to record everything I eat and stay within my 1456 calorie goal. I am generally not hungry so I really don't see any reason for not being within that range. 

Saturday, March 26th

Well, I never published this yesterday, so I'm going to continue it today. See, I don't want to focus on just weight loss. I want to be super healthy, active, and feel really, really good all the time. Part of that is losing some bodyfat but it's other things too. I need to focus on my diet more and bring my nutrients in line. Now, I typed that and then thought - in line with what? I do not and will not eat the standard American diet. Never. I'm going to focus on cutting out all processed food. All of it. I don't want to eat anything processed. That will be hard but I will do the best that I can. I also am going to focus on moving more. I've been doing fairly well with getting activity and steps in, time to take it up a notch. I know how I want to feel and I think I can get there if I just focus. So that will be my goal now. I did good yesterday. I had some fried rice for breakfast. Then we went to lunch and I had a giant salad. I entered the salad in my calorie counter but I don't think I entered enough calories. I wasn't hungry for dinner. Of course, we did have a very late lunch so that could have been part of the lack of hunger. I had to work the show last night and when I came home I was a little hungry so I had a bowl of cereal before bed. Woke up this morning and had to go. I mean I HAD! TO! GO! guess all the fiber in the cereal was doing it's job. 

I don't have anything more to say. I woke up at 4:30 am on a Saturday. Yeah, I've really been getting my sleeping in line lately. I go to bed a little after 8pm and I'm ready to fall asleep by 9pm. Then I wake up around 4:30 - 5:00 every morning. That is so perfect. I do get up in the middle of the night, either to pee or to let Bella out so she can pee. But I don't have any trouble falling right back to sleep. If I can ever walk Mavy again, it will be good getting up at this time during the summer. We can get a nice long walk in before the heat of the day. 

Okay, that's it. I'm definitely going to publish this today.