Planning for weaklessness

 

• If you were un-fragile, un-weak, strong, if you were Weakless right now, what would you gain? What would be easier for you?

If I was weakless right now I think it would go towards my mindfulness because I would not have to think about those things that made me weak. I would be able to focus on the things that matter to me and not spend time or mental energy thinking about all that nonsense. Also, it would make me more confident and sure of myself if I choose to do new things. New things can be scary, but if weakless I would not be scared to try them. Not that I really am now, but there are always doubts in the back of my mind when I try something new. After answering the other questions, I also think that it would allow me to do the things I'm slightly afraid of now but really want to do. I want to do a long hike, like days, but I don't feel I'm in a physical or mental place to do that. I want to join group hikes but feel like I won't be able to keep up physically so that creates self-doubt and I end up not even trying. Being weakless will make my life fuller and more adventurous. 

• What are your biggest weaknesses at the moment?

I guess my biggest weakness still is self doubt. I always doubt that I am capable of things and I really am. So my biggest weakness is doubting myself and feeling like an imposter, especially in my work. I've been doing it for 13 years, you would think I would feel a little confident in it and yet I still feel like an imposter a lot of the time. So my biggest weakness is self doubt and belief in myself. In thinking about doing the things for the weakless challenge, certain things I read and think, I can't do that. I can. I can do almost anything I want to, except perhaps pee standing up. I can do these things. I want my mind to get on board with this. 

Another weakness right now that I know is temporary because I am working on it is my physical limitations. The knee just limits my physical capabilities right now. But I am working on it and it is getting better so it won't always be this way. 

• What are your biggest strengths?

Lately my biggest strength is my mindfulness. I do feel a lot of self doubts, but I am mindful enough of them to override them most of the time and push through my day. I am also very aware of my thoughts and 'feelings' and how they affect what I do. So I know that my mindfulness is strong and I can use it to help make me weakless. 

• What is your plan to shore up your weaknesses? How will you train this "muscle"?

I will have to continue to do hard things but I will also need to acknowledge the hard things I am doing. I can't become complacent in either actions or thoughts. I will need to keep pushing the boundaries of hard things and also noting that they were hard and acknowledging that I did them. My desire is to do hard physical things, hiking, rucking, etc. That is where my real passion lies, probably because I don't consider myself a very physical person. Even though I trained and raced for years, I never considered myself a physical person. Weird. So because I don't think of myself that way, I think by continuing to push the boundaries and do hard physical things, that will help train my weakless muscle.