Step Away From the Cake

 I love, love, love planners. I probably have more than one person should, but I love them. I've going back to a Passion Planner. Used them for years and then drifted away but now I'm back. One of the things the Passion Planner has is a Passion Roadmap at the front.  Here you are supposed to lay out your goals for next next 3 months, 1 year, 3 years, and Lifetime. The idea is to dream big and then come up with a game plan to make it happen. I've always struggled with this, but now I really struggle with this.  I've reached a point in my life where I feel like I don't have a lot of goals. I wanted to be a teacher, I am. I wanted to own a house. I do. I wanted to leave Hawaii. I did. There are some goals that I've given up on like my Ph.D. I'm done with that.  I just had a thought. I do want to get into investing. That could be one of my goals. I just put it in as my 3-month goal:  Learn to Invest.  I entered my 1-year goal as having the house addition complet

 This has come up recently and I've been thinking a bit about it. What exactly is happiness? I've come to the conclusion that happiness is not the feeling of elation or overwhelming joy that most people think it is. Those feelings don't last. They come with some specific event and eventually they pass. Or you get used to living that way. So while those feelings are nice, they are not permanent or lasting.  So, back to the question, what is happiness? I am coming to the opinion that happiness is really the lack of sadness. Seriously. As I was walking Mavy last night I was thinking about it. I have a life many people would give anything to have. I have a decent job that I mostly enjoy. I make a decent amount of money. I have a great husband who may drink some but is generally always around and supportive. I live in a great house that we own in a great neighborhood. I'm healthy, the husband is healthy. I have pets that I love and adore and have the means to take care of. S

 After my last post, which felt a tiny bit like a meltdown, I've been active and moving and am beginning to feel a lot better. On Saturday I didn't get my steps in and that just doesn't make sense. We went to 2 Costcos and shopped. Plus a whole lot of other errands. But it is what it is.  I have been keeping my food in check though. No sweets or any junk since Sunday, so Yay for me. I did go to the gym on Sunday and work out too so double Yay!!! Definitely works better when I just operate in robot mode. I'm trying to do that in all things, not always working but definitely getting there.  Monday's are kind of hard. I'm so tired by the end of the day. I wonder if I kept a similar routine as the 4 workdays if I would feel better on Monday? On the weekend I usually relax in the afternoons about 2 or 3, which I can't do at school. What if I didn't relax until about 4 or 5 which is what happens on a school day? Hmmm, that seems kind of silly though. I honestl

 One of the things I've been really working on in the past few years is changing my thinking patterns. I know that they hold me back in many ways, and I've been working to alter them. The problem is that the old patterns are so well myelinated in my brain that it is so incredibly easy to just slip back into them again. And that's what I've done recently.  I am unhappy with the way my body feels lately. I talked about my low back pain on Thursday, but more importantly I talked about the things I needed to do to stop this pain. I know what needs to be done. I know exactly how to do it. I know that it will take time. I know that it will not feel great to begin with and that I just need to power through it. I know all this and yet I let old patterns of procrastination and apathy prevent me from moving forward and making progress. So let's discuss in more detail.  Gym:  Why don't I go more often? I would like to say there are a lot of reasons but that's not compl