Step Away From the Cake

Finally!! It has been a long time coming...okay, not really....but it has felt like it has been a long time coming. I'm just glad that tomorrow is the last day. I am so ready for some down time. I am also ready to get my life back on track. I have so lost what I like and what I want, that I feel lost. Time for a shake up of things. I am going to hit two a day workouts on break. Walking or walk/run in the morning; dog walking in the afternoons; and even Crossfit 2 times a week. I need to kick it in gear. I wrote that first part while I was waiting for the second exam to end this morning, it is now 5 pm. As the day has progressed the way I feel about myself has gotten worse. This is not necessarily a bad thing. I know that I shouldn't beat myself up and I know that dwelling on what I don't like is not a good thing. I should be focusing on the positive. But, this feeling disgusted really does serve a purpose. I have to reach a real low in order to make real, lasting chang

Today was the first day without any coffee. It was horrible. I had a splitting headache. I was exhausted and nauseous at lunch. It was truly horrible. I ended up eating some chocolate covered popcorn, fudge, and cookies I really didn't want to. I finally took some Aleve around noon and things started to clear up. The headache subsided and I could focus again. But by the time I got home I was exhausted again. This sucks. But now I'm in the quandary of what to do. I could get up in the morning and have a cup of coffee. That will probably help ease the symtoms of the withdrawal, but now that I've gone through today do I want to go backwards? I'm thinking that I just need to keep going now and suffer through it. This completely sucks. I felt so bad today, that I have honestly begun to wonder if I have something wrong with me. I'm not joking. I'm really tired. Really. Tired. Is it my weight or is there something wrong? It really scares me. But then I think back on t