Step Away From the Cake

I try to be perfect and I'm not. I try to do everything right, and I don't. I try. But then I get moments where I just give up and say f*ck it. Those moments are the ones I need to fight. I have a whole bunch of responsibilities and I need to keep on top of them. Regardless of how I feel, because I do know that when I take control I feel powerful. Even if things aren't going the way I want them to, I feel in control. Okay, so what brought this on? Money. The money here is so tight that one little thing can throw everything off. I have to stay focused on the money or it rapidly spins out of control. So time to get back on that. I need to check the bank account every night and I need to know where every penny is going. There is also a moratorium on spending for the remainder of October. I have to get the finances under control. Food. That is another area that needs to be handled. I ate well yesterday but then wrecked it with donuts and ice cream last night. Why? No reason....

For the last 3 days I have been in Kalaupapa, the leper colony on the island of Molokai. It also happens to be the home of not 1 but 2 saints. A pretty incredible place. I was lucky enough to help chaperone a school trip there and I could not be more thankful for the opportunity. It was amazing. First, because of the remote location, difficult access, and that it's a national park, it is just downright gorgeous. This is where we were staying  This is where Saint Damien lived and worked.  This is where we were staying from the cross on top of the mountain.  Second, it is a living monument to two saints; Damien and Marianne. This was Marianne's grave until they removed her for canonization in 2012. Part of her still rests here.  This was Damien's grave. He was removed in 1939 and returned to his home in Belgium, but when he was canonized, his right hand was reinterred here.  Also, the history. This was where lepers were sent to basically be forgotten. But...

I'm going to do this every day. I will take a few moments to blog everyday even if I have nothing to say. It is one way to keep focused on what I really want. So yesterday I ended up walking the dogs for almost 2 hours. That was awesome. Having been plantar pain free for almost 3 weeks now, I have a burning desire to run. I also have a burning desire no to have that pain again, so there's that. But my shoes were all old. Old like they would hurt my feet if I walked for too long. I knew there was no running in them. But I didn't want to spend $150 on shoes to discover that I can't run. That would suck big time. So I turned to eBay. I found these for $60: They are bright and loud and I love them. They are also a type of Asics I've never had before. I read that they were really cushioned and good for pronators, so I thought I would give them a try. I wore them once for walking on the treadmill and my toes on my left foot went numb. That was not good. Then I thoug...

I think I'm going to keep track of the days until new year and see exactly what I accomplish. Starting right now. 9:30 am:  just spent 2 1/2 hours working on my dissertation...yeah me....time for a walk....