Step Away From the Cake

When in the middle of a Crossfit WOD, when the end is as far away as the beginning was, I always have to dig really deep to keep going. I'm good in the beginning when I'm fresh and ready to take on the world. I'm good in the end when I can see the finish line and I know it won't be long now. I'm not so good in the middle. In the middle is where I slow down. In the middle is where I take more breaks than necessary. In the middle is when the negative voice in my head gets loudest. In the middle is where I have to be careful not to let it all fall apart. In a couple of situations in my life, I'm right in the middle. Now is when I have to dig the deepest and fight the hardest. Now is when I have to push myself to get over the hump so I can see the finish line. In a couple of other situations, I'm at the beginning. In one particular situation, I'm at the beginning. Again. I am back at the beginning of my weight loss. I am at the highest weight I have bee

So this entire week was kind of a train wreck. I have been eating well. Making my breakfast, lunch, and dinner - even though Hubby works nights and isn't home to cook. I've kept my eating in check and had sugar only 2 days. Yeah, me!!!! That is about the totality of good news. I only worked out once, Monday. I have done exactly zero on my dissertation. And I'm soooooooooo tired. I've started that sleeping like I'm drugged sleep. That is not good when it happens more than one night. So things have not been great. Part of it was the asshole and their stupid letter. I mailed my response on Monday and it was like waiting on pins and needles for when they got it. They got it yesterday and the only way I know that is that they emailed and wanted to move forward with mediation. Swear to god, why can no one else think of this crap???? So I got that going again and we'll see what happens. Another part was that I found out on Sunday that the book I thought I was using

For some reason I associate that phrase with my Dad. Now my Dad passed away when I was 13 so I can't see him saying that to me, but then again he was a character and maybe he did. Anyway, yesterday was emotionally draining. Dealing the assholes (that is how they will forever be known to me) and their nonsense all damn day. But, I'm not gonna let the bastards get me down. Wow, my language has deteriorated in this whole mess. Time to get back on the high road. Today I will finish the letter, organize the pictures, and tomorrow I will send it off. Done and done. I woke up this morning to an email from my methodologist stating that my prospectus was okay. Yikes!!! I didn't realize, but I was sort of hiding behind that prospectus. As long as I didn't have a methodologist that had approved it, I was okay not making progress. Well, that little safety net has been removed. Now I have no reason not to start working on my proposal in earnest and get it done. Ugh!!! I am a mast