Step Away From the Cake

There is a time to be all soft and nice to yourself and there is a time to kick yourself in the a** and be brutal. I think I have reached the brutal point, at least it worked last night. I have done all these posts about how I'll make this change and that change; how I'll shoot for 3 times a week doing whatever....clearly that has not been working. So it is time to get real. I know what needs to be done and I know how to get it done. I just need to do it. So, here are a few things I WILL be doing today: Not sitting at my computer for more than an hour at a time. I will have a timer open and every time I sit down, I will set it for an hour. When it rings I will go do something else.  I will log everything I eat before I eat it. Normally I wait until after and that seems to not work, so it's before.  I will workout 2x today. I'm going to do Black Fire this morning and do some Zumba type stuff this afternoon.  That's it. Not terribly hard, just a few things...

I had to go to the doctor today for an ear infection. As with all doctor visits, I had to step on the scale. That was the number I saw. I can't believe it. I just can't. I'm absolutely speechless. I started writing this post a few minutes ago and then got sidetracked by something. While i was sidetracked I was thinking about this in the back of my mind. And you know what I came up with? Why am I surprised? Why does this number shock me? I spend more hours sitting than not. Most days I eat like there is no tomorrow. What I should be shocked about is that this number didn't pop up sooner. What kind of cave am I living in? I know what I'm doing, better than anyone, so why am I shocked? Apparently I thought that I could eat with abandon, sit on my ass, and lose weight. It doesn't work that way, who knew? I think I'm kind of tired of myself. I'm tired of all this trying and failing and trying and failing. F*ck it. Time to get off my ass and just do it. B...

Last night I was sitting here feeling fat and unmotivated and generally crappy. Thinking back, I realized that I have not done any kind of workout in 2 weeks. Since I injured my foot 8 weeks ago, workouts have been sporadic and not consistent at all. It was showing in my weight, my food choices, and the way I felt in general. I reached my breaking point last night and realized I had to do something. I really, really want to run but that is out until this foot is 100%. I gave serious consideration to returning to Crossfit. Then I remembered about Black Fire. At the beginning of the summer - before I injured my foot - I wanted to get in 2 workouts a day to kick things up. So I signed up for Daily Burn and the Black Fire workouts. So I went over there and checked them out, have to be careful with this ridiculous foot. The workouts are Crossfit style but only about 30 minutes each and they were moves that would not bother my foot. Burpees, dips, and sit-ups. So I got up at 4:30 and did th...

It is amazing how when you work to get on top of some things, other things fall into place. I've been on top of the money and keeping my desk clean. My dissertation is starting to fall into place and I think I found a methodologist. Now the real work begins. Then, today I got an email from a headhunter. They are looking for an instructor for University of Phoenix online school for education. I submitted my resume, we'll see what happens. That would be cool. Plus it's $1300 every 9 weeks or so. Cool. I have quit Crossfit for the foreseeable future. That is a huge stressor removed. I don't feel the pressure to go or the guilt when I don't. That was a smart move. I have been getting up and doing yoga in the morning, just a short routine. I want to do more, but I need to get my ass out of bed earlier. Anyway, I'm looking forward to getting more limber like I used to be. I'm also looking forward to running again. I signed up for the Great Aloha Run in February...

You cannot imagine the anger I felt at myself for yesterday. I had been making such amazing progress in so many areas, and one jump almost derailed everything. I went to the store yesterday and bought Nutter Butters and then ate the whole pack. I went to the store today and bought Oreos and have eaten about 6 so far. My desk is starting to pile up again, everything I have done yesterday and today is just sitting on my desk not put away. I missed my 30 minutes last night on my dissertation. I've spent most of today sitting on my ass in front of this beast playing games. I almost let that one thing derail my entire week of progress. Well, it's not going to. I came to my senses just a few minutes ago and am already taking steps to get back on track. My foot is feeling really good, it has recovered quickly. I am, however, still going to give Crossfit a rest. I saw people today biking and running and I want to do that again. So once my foot heals that's what I'm going to ...