Step Away From the Cake

Many times when I write a post, I'm not exactly sure where it is going. Last night is a perfect example. I sat down to write a completely different post, but after staring at the screen for 20 minutes realized I needed to write something else. Writing is very cathartic for me and it really helps me to process things or dig up underlying issues that I may not even be aware of. It is one of the reasons I've kept this blog going even though I have no readers. It's for me. Anyway, last night, after I wrote that post, what I wrote was roaming around in my head. I think I hit on something super important and didn't even realize it. I have been running without lesson plans for a little bit now. That's not completely true as I know what I want to do, but the details are a bit fuzzy and I didn't have anything written down - it was all in my head. I finally realized what was happening. I always feel pressure to get to school early when I don't have a solid plan. Then

I've been sitting here staring at the screen for about 20 minutes and just can't seem to get started writing. Very unusual for me. I have a lot of things I want to write about, I just can't seem to get started. So let's take it one by one. First, I'm completely exhausted. I have been most of the week. I'm not exactly sure why and it's bugging me. There is a number of possibilities and I think it's a combination of them all. First, a new school. Whenever you go to a new school it is similar to the first year. Not exactly, but similar. So there is that. Then there is having 45 minute classes, when I used to have 90 minute classes, and to seeing the kids every single day. I used to go days without seeing some of my students. I'm not complaining, I like this better, it is just exhausting. I used to create a lesson plan and it would take at least 2 days because the classes were spread over 2 days. Sometimes I didn't have to write a new lesson plan

One of the things I realized over the past 4 days is that I have been letting life toss me around. I have not been taking control. I have been reacting instead of being proactive. As a result, things are a bit of a mess. If you could see the desk I'm working on right now, you would see the outward manifestation of that mess. The desk is 6' long and I barely have room for my keyboard. The other manifestations of that mess is my weight, my lack of workouts, my last minute assignments, etc. No More!!!! I'm hitting the reset button and I'm starting over. One of the really important thing I learned at the residency is that the writing of the dissertation is a long, arduous process. It can take a year or two if you are diligent and focused. I know that organization is not my strong suit and I know that I want to finish this dissertation quicker than anyone ever. But in order to do that I need to be uber organizer and not doing things at the last minute. So, today is resent