Step Away From the Cake

I first went to physical therapy in January I think - towards the end. She gave me some exercises and I did them and they helped. Both the shoulder and the knee. I went back in February and saw that I had progressed and she gave me some more advanced exercises and I didn't do them. Then I sat on my butt for a few weeks and didn't go to Crossfit. Then my knee started giving me real problems. Really? How surprising!!!! During this break I have been working on getting my knee back in shape, and it's getting there. Then yesterday I had a ortho appointment and talked him into another cortisone shot in my knee - woo hoo. Today the knee feels awesome. Really. Really. Awesome. Went to Crossfit this morning and for the very slightest moment considered just going all out since I felt so good. Luckily I came to my senses rather quickly. I modified. I didn't do a whole lot of double unders during the warm up because the pounding hurts my knee. Smart. I did not do the squat snatch...

Yesterday went really well. Really. Really. Well. I had no junk food all day. I did not eat anything after lunch, which is usually the time I cave. I was very, very proud of myself. Then Hubby bought this home. If you have never had this, you must try it. Amazing!!!! It is a chocolate and vanilla ice cream with a core of caramel. OMG!!! Amazeballs!!!!! The good part is that I did not have very much of it. I had about 10 spoonfuls total. Hubby ate the rest. And it is all gone. But that was the only junk I ate all day. I knew I could do it, it was just a matter of actually doing it. So yesterday was rousing success. The question now is does my avoidance of junk food yesterday have any relation to me crushing the WOD last night? Or is that merely a coincidence? Hmm....food for thought....

Tonight, for the first time in about a week, I was really able to push it during a WOD. Tonight's WOD was 800 m run, 16 jerks, 32 sit ups. I couldn't run because of the knee so I rowed 500 m instead. Because none of these moves really used my knee, and my knee has been feeling much better, I was able to really push and kill myself. It was awesome. I haven't felt like that during a workout in a while. I came home sweaty and tired and now I'm hungry. That is the way it should be after a workout. So yea for me and no knee pain....

Just read a great post on a paleo blog about taking responsibility. Responsibility for you fitness, diet, body, everything. This post really made me think. I like to think that I accept responsibility for everything I do, but honestly I don't. The last couple of days I've been trying to get my diet under control. It's getting better, but I'm still succumbing to the sweet treats. I can give you any number of reasons excuses but the fact of the matter is, I've been abdicating responsibility of my diet to my cravings. That is ridiculous. Absolutely. Ridiculous. I don't want to live my life avoiding sweets forever, but I also don't need to have them every single day. They are meant to be eaten once in a while, hence the name treat . So no more abdicating responsibility of any parts of my life. While I might have given up on the weight loss thing, I have not given up on the healthy thing. I want to be healthy, to have energy, and to feel good. That is one thing...

I'm counting yesterday as a success. My goal was to eat at regular intervals, not let my hunger get out of control, and restrain from the sweets. Well, I did eat at regular intervals. I did not let my hunger get out of control. I did however, have some sweets. After lunch I had a couple of cookies and after dinner I had some cake. Now, the real problem here is not so much that I ate them, the cookies I wanted, it's that I really didn't want the cake. I'm not a fan of that cake. At. All. The cake is a little dry and the icing is weird - peanut butter and cream cheese. Yet, I ate it. Actually, I ate 2 slices. Yeah, don't like it so I eat 2 slices. Awesome. But, I am still counting yesterday as a success. Oh yes, I got to Crossfit also. So, a rousing success. I plan to repeat the meals and crossfit and work to eliminate the sweets today. I'm thinking of dumping the cake completely and I have other snacks that I may just throw in the freezer - out of sight, out of ...

And some days it is harder than others. Today I spent all morning cleaning and reorganizing the spare room. I was moving furniture, throwing things away, cleaning, just going crazy in there. My knee felt fine. Not great, but it was working and not hurting me. It was doing what I needed it to do. I went to the 4pm Crossfit and just walking from the car the knee started acting up. WTF???? I couldn't do some of the warm up movements. I couldn't do 3 out of 3 of the WOD movements. There was a point where I just felt like crying. I'm so broken. My knee is so screwy. There are times I just want to cry. The knee is getting worse and something has to be done. I can not go on like this. I see the ortho on Friday and I think it's time to talk about what we can do. The knee joint feels loose, I have a hard time straightening it out, and I seem to hyperextend it a lot. Weird, I know, but I can't go on like this. Okay, I'm not going to get down about it. I modified the WOD...

Every break I fall into a trap that, you would think, I would be over by now. But alas, there are times I am slow to learn. The break trap goes like this, I start break with big plans and ambitions. The first few days are either very busy or I'm collapsed on the couch napping. Either way, by the 3rd day things start to normalize and I'm doing things I want to do but also getting some rest in. The problem arises with my workouts. I consider myself a morning workout person. I consider myself a morning person in general. So I have the idea firmly planted in my head that I prefer to workout in the mornings. The truth of the matter is, working out in the morning screws me up and I'll tell you why. Morning Crossfit is at 5, 7, 8, or 9. I never get up early enough for the 5 so that's out. I can usually make the 7 if I hurry (right now it's 6:40 and I'm still working on my first cup of coffee). So, realistically, the earliest I could make is 8. I can't eat before...

I used to be a perfectionist. Seriously. Everything I did had to be absolutely perfect and nothing I did was good enough. As a result of this, many things were left unfinished. I would start things then stop. I used to think that I would get bored with them and move on to something else. The truth is, I would think that I could not do them good enough. And if I could not do it perfectly, I would not do it at all. Not a great way to live your life. The reason this just came up is because I was working on a paper for one of my classes. I'm not exactly sure what the instructor wants and I was fretting over it a little bit. Then I said to myself, screw this. He doesn't tell you exactly, you do it the way you want. It won't be perfect but it will be acceptable. And so I submitted it that way. Now, I'm sure it will be fine, it usually is. I'm way harder on myself than anyone else is. So apparently I'm moving away from perfectionism. That is a good thing, because bein...

I'm not sure exactly what happened yesterday. I think it was an accumulation of the past couple of days of not caring about what I eat. So yeah, I have not been caring about what I eat so I've been eating a lot of junk. Yesterday it was those - sugar wafers. I'm not even sure why I bought them, but I did and I ate them. No all, but most. I have got to stop this. So, one day. It is back to one day. One day, today, I am going to avoid the crap I bought yesterday. That's all, just one day. I can do this. I plan on going to Crossfit this morning. I have some papers to finish and turn in. Then I'm going to try and talk Hubby into picking up some furniture a friend is giving us. It's a large hutch and 2 bookshelves. I'm very excited because I need something like this to organize the spare room. The hutch is kind of like this: And since I don't really need a hutch, I was thinking of putting it in the computer room and then getting rid of another shelving u...