Step Away From the Cake

So yesterday I fell. In many ways, I fell hard. But yesterday is over and it's time to move on. Yesterday shook me in some deep, primal way. I'm not sure why. Other people have died. I've lost family members, but yesterday shook me. I think it might be because I knew what was going on with her. For a year I had watched her struggle with her health and at times I felt like she was doing the wrong thing. The thing is, what she was doing wrong is the kind of thing I would do. I believe that's what shook me so hard. I like to think that I am intelligent, but watching her last year and thinking I might react the same way, is kind of scary. But I can't use that as an excuse to fail. I need to use it as a learning tool and make sure I don't do something similar. So it's back at it today. In spite of all the food I ate last night, cookies, beer, margaritas, burger, fries, pie, I woke this morning hungry. That tells me that my body does not recognize most of that ...

A friend passed away last night. It was a shock. This is a person I had breakfast with most days for the last 5 years. We weren't close, not at all. But we were friends, we talked a lot, we laughed, we shared our lives. She could be really annoying, but I'm sure she thought the same thing about me. Her passing is such a shock, I'm not sure I've processed it completely. I can not believe she is gone. She did not come back to school after Christmas break and we were told she was sick, but not how sick. I don't think anyone realized how truly sick she was. Her liver failed and there was nothing they could do. So sad. Such a waste. She just turned 60 over the summer and threw a big party to celebrate. We learned this today during a mass for Catholic schools week. Timing, huh? I will miss her. I hope she knew that I liked her. We would argue, but I hope she understood it was not because I didn't like her. I just hope she knew....... That led to a lapse in Paleo to...

The last couple days have been up and down, good and bad. I've been really tired at night and dragging a little during the day. Not sure exactly why though. I have not been getting enough sleep. that is one is thing. I've been wearing my Fitbit to bed and it shows I'm only getting about 6.5 hours sleep a night. Time to step that up. I get up at 4:30 and there is no point really. I think I will move my wake up time back to 5, in bed by 9 boom 8 hours. So that will start happening. Of course, tomorrow I get to sleep in, so this will start on Monday. Another thing is, how do I put this delicately, my poop. I've been going a lot for the amount of food I'm eating. I wonder if it's being affected by the liver pills. I've been taking them all week. I don't feel any great difference yet, but I will give it at least a month, maybe two. You can not get anything in just a couple of days. Okay, just killing some time before I have to leave for work. Today we have ...

I don't really have anything to say today. I didn't have anything to say yesterday either. Things are good. The Paleo Challenge is going really well. WODs are awesome. And I'm feeling like a million bucks. What more can I say? I think of something :) The challenge is going so well, it's almost hard to believe. Today at school we had a pot luck and I did really, really well. I had salad with shredded chicken on it and no dressing. Some fresh veggies . Kalua pork. Ribs. Now I probably should not have had the ribs because they had BBQ sauce on them. But since there was so little for me to eat, and I was starving, I decided that it was not the worst choice I could make. Oh yeah, I also had a lot of fresh fruit. A. Lot. There was a table full of desserts and I did not have one. I didn't even want one. I was very proud of myself and felt that I handled the potluck very well. We did have an interesting conversation at lunch. One of the other teachers is doing a juice ...

I am really trying not to make this about a number on a scale, but I can't help but get excited to see I have lost 5 pounds already. I could feel it and knew I was down. I know that I have a number as one of my goals for this challenge, but it is not my main goal. I really just want to feel good in my body again. I was just reading a post on Crossfit and, like Paleo, it has made me look at things differently. I no longer look at my body and hate parts of it. I look at my body in amazement at what it can do. I can deadlift 250lbs. I can lift an obese person off the floor. I can snatch 60lbs. Think about that. That is a lot of weight and I can just grab it off the floor and fling it over my head. I can back squat 135lbs. What? That's just crazy! Yes, I can not do weights that the elite do, but how many 54 year old women do you know that can do that? Anyway, 12 days in and my energy is going through the roof. I didn't nap yesterday or today. What? It's a weekend without...