Step Away From the Cake

I had started a post about a week ago with all my goals for the new year. I had a list of things I wanted to accomplish, fitness goals, personal goals, etc. It was very lofty and inspired. Since my doctor visit yesterday, I have gone through a lot of things in my head. At first I was very, very depressed. I could possibly be looking at a knee replacement and that could be the end of any Crossfit or running or anything in my future. I decided not to focus on that, to just let that thought go. I can not change what has happened to my knee, I can only wait to see the doc and see what they recommend to fix it. So, having accepted that what is, is, I can now move on. I did the WOD this morning and did not try to do anything stupid. I didn't run, I rowed. I didn't try pistols, I did one-legged squats on a chair. I worked, but within my capabilities. It is actually kind of freeing to know exactly what is wrong. I now know that I am not a wuss, I am not wimping out, I have a legit pro...

Yesterday was a giant pity party. I was down and depressed all day. I did not do a damn thing. I did go to Crossfit and modify, modify, modify. But man, I was down. Then last night I got cold. Freezing cold. I ended up wearing sweats and a long sleeve shirt. I was freezing. This did not help the pity party. I woke this morning with a touch of a head cold, little stuffy nose and a bit of a headache. I should be fine though. So back to the pity party. When I was going to bed last night, I decided that today would be a new day with a new attitude. I would wake up and deal with things and the pity party would be over. And so it is. Time to move on. I can't do anything about my knee right now, just don't go crazy with it. So I will do what I can and wait to hear from the docs. I will not borrow trouble. I will just live my life and what happens,happens. The problem today is that I have a paper due tomorrow that I have not even looked at yet. I spent this week doing absolutely n...

See the above picture? See how there is a space between the upper and lower leg bones? Yeah, I don't have that. My bones are crashing together. No wonder I'm in pain. I also have bone spurs growing where the bones are rubbing together. Oh what fun. That is the cause of all my pain and swelling. Wow! Also, it appears that I might have a tear in the subscapular tendon. Both of these things will require surgery to fix. I'm glad they are fixable, but I'm not looking forward to two surgeries. I'm scared. I'm glad that I know what's wrong. I'm all kinds of things I can't completely sort out right now. I have a headache and I have inertia. I need to shake this but I don't know how. Poor, sad, me.....

I just got back from Crossfit. With my knee and shoulder problems, I have been trying very, very hard to keep a good attitude. Do what I can and not get crazy with Crossfit. But it's hard. I know what I'm capable of and when I can't do it because of my knee or my shoulder, I get angry. When I get angry, I go to a very, very dark place in my head. It's weird because I don't say negative things to myself, I am just so mad and angry because I can't do what I want to. At that point I don't want to talk to anyone, I do not want to hear anyone tell me good job, I just want to suffer in silence. It's a strange reaction, but I can't help it. I want to cry and I just get angry. Nothing anyone can do can talk me down, I just go to that dark place and I can not get out. It happened tonight. My knee has been bothering me all day and I did debate going earlier, but I decided to go. We did back squats and I could only do a few and once it got heavy I was out. T...

Christmas eve and Christmas day were filled with food and friends and good times. But it is over. Today is the day after Christmas. This is no special day. There is no reason I should be eating anything other than good, healthy food. And there is no reason at all why I shouldn't workout. Yesterday Crossfit was closed and I never stepped on the treadmill, but I don't have that excuse today. I also spent a good part of yesterday napping. I need to stop that too. Today I will accomplish the following: 30 minutes on the treadmill even if it's just walking Make 4 wrist wraps Get more wrist wraps listed on Etsy Follow my eating plan Go to Crossfit at 4pm Start grading my finals Start working on paper that is due on Sunday Go to Sears for bobbins and fabric store for valentine fabric That should keep me busy and off the couch most of the day. I find that if I don't have a plan, nothing gets done. I was like that yesterday. I had no plan for the day and napped ...

Merry Christmas. The day is finally here. I can not believe that it is Christmas already. The time goes by so rapidly. Time flies when you are having fun, and face it, I really am having fun. Last night we met some friends for a Christmas Eve celebration. We get together with these folks every year. I knew we were doing it and I knew that I would be going off my eating. I did great up until dinner, then I had nachos, wings, poke, oh and 2 margaritas. Not to mention the gingerbread and other dessert afterwards. Then this morning there will be eggs benedict and probably more of the dessert. But that is it. Once I go to bed tonight it is over. Christmas is just one day, no need to eat for a week because of it. Next week for New Years we are having crab so that should not be as bad to my eating as this is. No Crossfit today. I am going to get on the treadmill though. I need to work a plan for working in the treadmill. If I do Crossfit in the morning I should run at night buuuuutttttt....

This is my second Christmas at Crossfit and the WOD was similar to last year. I forgot last years at the box, so I'll just go with this years.  It is done like the song 12 days of Christmas; 1 deadlift, 2 pullups & 1 deadlift; 3 kness to elbow, 2 pullups, & 1 deadlift, etc. all the way to 12. So you end up doing: 12 burpees 22 med ball cleans 30 lunges 36 jump squats 40 wall balls 42 KB swings 42 KB presses each arm 40 box jumps 36 push ups 30 knees to elbows 22 pull ups 12 deadlifts For a total of 406 moves. Yikes that is a lot of moving. It took me 36:13 to complete the whole thing. I'm just glad I made it through. Last night I struggled with the WOD, I struggled something fierce. There were a lot of moves I couldn't do and I was getting frustrated, like I do and UGH!!!!!! I have been trying to be realistic about my abilities but still push myself at the same time. Not an easy line to walk. Today I partnered up with one of the strong girls and l...

Since the kids moved out, we have not made a big deal about Christmas around here. We usually don't even buy each other presents. It is generally a pretty quiet day with hubby watching football and me doing whatever. Whatever this year will be writing papers. We always have a special eve dinner and Christmas breakfast though. It is a nice tradition. Other than that, I'll be working out today at 9am. Tomorrow the box is closed, so I'll do the treadmill. I'll probably do some treadmill tonight too just because. Yesterday's eating was spot on and I felt awesome. I ended up with ~1500 calories and it broke down in the following way: Calorie Breakdown: Carbohydrate (10%) Fat (73%) Protein (17%) A couple of things I noticed from eating one day like this. I was never hungry. Never. I ate breakfast around 8:30am, lunch around 12:30pm, and dinner around 7:00pm. I did snack on some grapes but that was because I felt like something sweet. So I did not really get h...

I jumped out of bed this morning, did my morning ablutions and hopped on the scale. It was the highest number I have seen in over a year. 195.4. In many ways that number saddens me. I had gotten so far and made so much progress and that number seems to say it's all gone. I know that is not completely true, but that is how it feels. Regardless, I'm not going to let that get me down. Today I begin my new way of life and I am excited about that. Of course, things have not started off so well. I planned on going to the olympic lifting class at 7 am but overslept. Of course, I could still make it if I rushed, but I'm on vacation. I do however, have a plan B. In a little while I will hop on the treadmill and do 30 minutes. I would like to do some running intervals, but my knees have been feeling awful. They feel unstable. Both of them. I know I can't really explain it, but it's true. I will walk for a bit and if it feels okay run for a bit. Then this afternoon is Cros...

Okay, I am ready. I'm excited and looking forward to the next two weeks. The trip to Costco was successful this morning. I got coconut oil, lots of veggies, olives, etc. All in preparation for tomorrow. Starting first thing in the morning I begin my new way of eating. I'm really excited about this. I think it is just what I need. So many breaks I put a lot of pressure on myself to do all kinds of things, not this one. All I want to do is get refocused on my health and fitness. I want to get back to running and only by refocusing will I accomplish that goal. I want to run a half marathon in April. That is 2 days before my 55th birthday. I really, really want to do this. But I need to get running again. I need to get over these injuries even if it means going to the doctors. Tomorrow it all begins. I'm excited and so looking forward to this new beginning.

Believe it or not, we only started shopping at Costco a few months ago. We had a Costco card and a Sam's card years ago, but every time we went we spent hundreds of dollars. So we stopped going. Then about a year ago we started going with some friends to buy meat. That proved to be such a huge savings, we finally broke down and got our own card. We have found grain-free dog food and biscuits, fish oil, coconut oil, etc. So now we are Costco fanatics. We go about twice a month and spend about a hundred dollars at a time. Not bad. There are some things we will not buy there no matter how cheap because it is just too much. I can't remember what it was, but it was way cheaper than the store, but I knew we would never use it all and where would we keep it??? This is where we are going today. I'm going to stock up on some things and tomorrow I begin my two week keto diet. It's not really a diet, I'm just tweaking the paleo. I want to get started today, but we have a...