Step Away From the Cake

I believe that life is a process of learning. In my view, if you aren't learning you're standing still and stagnating. Learning is growing and changing. Learning can occur in many ways, not just through school. You can learn a craft by doing it. You can learn history by reading about it. You can learn from doing just about anything. I have spent the last few years learning a lot about food. It started with cutting calories via weight watchers. Eventually that led to eating clean, and the natural progression of paleo. All of them worked for a while but then they stopped working. Paleo was good, but once I stopped I have had the hardest time getting back on it. I was determined that over this break I would get back on it, but then I stumbled across I book I had that tweaks paleo just a little. It focuses on eating fat and burning fat. I won't go into great detail here, but you can read about it here: http://www.artandscienceoflowcarb.com/ , it makes a lot of sense. You b

I love new starts, new beginnings, looking at things as a clean slate.... Love. It. Today school ended. Woot!!! But instead of looking at it as something ending, I'm looking at it as a new start. I now get to focus on myself for the next two weeks. I now get to rein in my eating, ramp up my workouts, and make a dent. It begins tomorrow. The schedule looks like this: 6-7:30: work on paper 7:30 - 10:00; crossfit, breakfast, shower, etc. 10:00 - 3:00; work on paper. 3:30 - off to school for parade, winter ball It will be a full day and I have to get the paper done, or really close to done since it is due on Sunday. Right now I'm tired, really, really tired. So it's off to bed because rest is as important as anything else.

I have not been able to get a complete handle on the eating (she types with a sugar cookie in her mouth) but I'm working the exercise part of the equation. I have been to Crossfit five times since Saturday. And I have worked hard, really hard. So I am getting there. I have work christmas party tomorrow, the christmas parade and dance Saturday, and the box christmas party on Sunday. On Monday it is over. I will be home. I will work out as much as I can. And I will eat clean. I seriously can not wait. I need to use this time to get myself back together and get started on my new year!!!!

Last night, after I posted about kicking myself , I was able to keep everything in check until I went to bed. I did not eat anything more so that was good. I went to bed still feeling kind of crappy and woke up feeling yucky. Not a stellar way to start the day. I have not gotten on the treadmill even though I have been up for an hour. I have been reading info about injuries and the human body and such. So let's try it again. For just one day I will eat clean and workout. I have nothing special going on at work today so there is no reason why I should eat any junk. I am giving myself permission to eat junk on Friday, so I will avoid it until then. So one day. Just one stinking day. Eat clean, Crossfit, and no dessert. That's all. For just one day. That is all I ask.

I updated my post from this morning about my not so stellar eating today. After I posted that, I ate 2 cookies and then had dinner. I have been sitting here since then feeling like I need to go the bathroom but can't, my stomach is so bloated I feel like I'm pregnant and I have a headache. Really??? What else do I need to have happen to convince me I'm a mess? I just watched the Biggest Loser and I'm all pissed off at myself. I am over this. I know what to do, why don't I do it? Why do I let myself feel like crap and not stop? WTF?????? I'm over it!!! Over it I say!!! I did not go to Crossfit tonight and I have a dentist appointment in the morning so I'm going into work late. I am going to get up in the morning and get on the treadmill. I will do 30 minutes on that puppy and run for some of it even. Maybe I'll start the couch to 5k program. I am over this. Over it completely!!!!

I will eat right, avoid sugar and wheat, drink lots of water, and go to Crossfit. Just one day. I need this for me, so for just one day I will do this. I was getting dressed this morning and my fat pants were tight. Now for the last 3 days I have been eating cookies and sweets like they are being outlawed. So for today, just one day, I'm going to eat well, drink lots of water to flush this stuff out, and get my WOD on later. I was debating about going to Crossfit tonight as this will be my 4th day in a row, but I'm going. I need it. I will have a good, healthy dinner and that is all once I get home. I can do this for just one day. Only 14 days until 2014! I can not believe it. I began a post the other day about the new year. I haven't finished it yet, but I will be soon. I need to have goals and things to work towards, otherwise all kinds of other nonsense get in the way. So I will finish that up and post it soon. 2014 is going to be an awesome year, I just know it

Since I missed Thursday and Friday, I decided to go to Crossfit today. I don't usually go on Sundays. They are usually my big rest day/errand running/paper writing/napping day. Also, the workouts on Sunday are brutal. Last Sunday I could not finish it and got really down on myself. But, I've been working very hard on self acceptance and this was a good trial. The WOD was: 50 double unders or 150 single unders 40 cleans 40 pistols 50 double unders or 150 single unders 30 shoulder to overhead 30 pull ups 50 double unders or 150 single unders 20 overhead squats 20 hand stand push up 50 double unders or 150 single unders 10 burpee muscle ups I looked at that and normally I would have started getting upset. I can't do double unders and jumping rope really wrecks my knee. I can't do pistols. I can't do pull ups, well, not 30 of them. I can't do hand stand push ups. Overhead squats kill me. And I can't do muscle ups. So most of the moves I can'