Step Away From the Cake

I didn't go to Crossfit yesterday and I'm not going today. Yesterday I had a presentation to the new teachers at school to make and I wanted to get their early to make sure everything worked. It didn't. I probably had time to go to Crossfit at 6 am but my back was aching a little so I decided to give it a rest. Ended up being at school for 5 hours yesterday and I was exhausted. Woke up this morning with my back aching even more. So I decided that the smart thing to do is to stay home again. So I did. I've taken some ibuprofen and I plan on relaxing all day. I have things to read for school and plenty to keep my mind occupied. So it's going to be a lazy day of rest and relaxation to get this back in order.

This is kind of how I feel today. My weight was back up 2 lbs. this morning. I know, I know, I know. All of the reasons why you should not weigh yourself everyday. I know. But sometimes, not always, but sometimes weighing myself everyday helps me keep things in perspective. Today for instance. I did not feel like I was up 2 lbs. And I did not eat 7,000 calories yesterday, so logically I know I'm not up 2 lbs. But it helps me to distance myself from the number on the scale. Looking at that number and knowing that it is absolutely not true, lessens the power of the scale in my mind. Yesterday was really, really hot. I did not drink as much water as I did the 2 previous days. I ate a bit of a salty lunch. All of those reasons could account for that 2 lbs, or it could be something else entirely. So I can't explain it, but I know it's not real. So that's good. Yesterday I PR'd my deadlift. 245 lbs. Holy Crap!!! I can deadlift an obese person!!!! Anyway, doing it put a...

This morning I am down the other 2 lbs that I was up on Monday. I knew those weren't real pounds since there was no way I ate 14,000 calories last week. I love the feeling of being able to suck in my stomach. I haven't gotten the energy burst yet, that may take longer to come, but I'll hold out for it. I did not count my calories all day on Monday, it's just not something I do so I forgot. But I did figure out breakfast, 3 slices of bacon, 1 sausage link, 3 eggs, and veggies. That was right around 600 calories. Lunch worked out to about 700 calories. The only snack I had was some fruit and not that much. Dinner I didn't figure out but it was steak, veggies, and salad. I'm figuring around 650 calories. That totals out to 1950 calories. If you factor in the fruit I ate maybe 2100 cals. tops. I felt really good. I got sleepy in the afternoon but not exhausted and didn't take a nap. Yesterday was very similar and again, sleepy in the afternoon but not exhaus...

That's what I was down in weight this morning. I knew that 4 lb gain was not real. A day of good eating and drinking lots of water makes a huge difference. I'm feeling much better already. Now I just need to get through another day. Just one day of eating right and drinking water. Just one day. Crossfit is never consistently good. It just isn't. Just when you think you are doing great and getting strong, a WOD comes along and smacks you with reality. This morning reality hit me in the face. I've been doing pretty good in the WODs lately. The shoulder is about 99% so I've been able to push things a little. So today was power cleans and pull-ups. I really thought I could do these decently. No!! What the hell made me think that? I started with 85# on the power cleans and did the first 12. Then it was off to pull-ups. I suck at pull-ups and I need to get better. I was supposed to do 24, I did 14 and then had to move to ring rows. I was so pissed at myself. My arms w...

For just one day I am going to be perfect. I am going to eat right. I am going to avoid all sugar, wheat, and processed foods. I am going to treat my body well and nourish it properly. I am going to drink plenty of water. I am going to move my body. For just one day I will be perfect. The day has started well. I went to 6am Crossfit even though I really didn't feel like it. I awoke with a headache and it hasn't gotten much better. But I went and worked my butt off. I stepped on the scale before I left and I'm up 4 lbs from last Monday. Now that is absolutely not possible. To gain 4 lbs I would have eaten 14,000 calories extra!!!! I probably didn't eat 14,000 calories all week. Which, I honestly believe, is part of my problem. When I am home I don't eat as much. When I don't eat as much I get lazy. I nap. I crave junk to fill me up. So part of my perfect day today, will include counting my calories. I need at least 2,000 a day. So today I track calories. I am...

Binge eating is an insidious monster. Years ago, I used to binge eat until my stomach hurt. My stomach would stick out and it would physically ache from the sheer amount of food in it. It's been a long time since I did that. I basically became aware of it and worked on stopping it. I did. It's been over 10 years since I've had a binge like that. I mean a real one, where I kept eating even though I was absolutely full and sick. I really believed I was over that. Then today I realized that while I no longer binge until I am ill and aching, I still binge. It's just that the binges are smaller now, but they are still binges. Last night I went to the store just before dinner and bought a pack of Nutter Butters. After dinner I started eating them and did not stop until I ate the entire package. No matter what you call it, that is a binge. I stopped binging the first time by being aware and talking about it, at least to myself, so that's what I'm going to do this time...