Step Away From the Cake

So last night I was all 'oh, the scale doesn't rule my life anymore, I'm so over it' blah, blah, blah..... I got up this morning and the first thing on my mind was my weigh-in. Now it may be due to the fact that I was posting about it last night or it may be due to the fact that I'm really not so over it as I thought. Anyway, I got up, fed the birds to shut them up, then headed to the scale. I had already eliminated everything that was ready to leave if you know what I mean. I said to myself as I stepped on it, this does not affect me in anyway. Whatever this says is just one measure of my progress. I feel good. I'm more energetic. I'm sleeping better. What the number on this scale says can not affect my day in anyway. Clearly I'm not as over this as I thought I was. So I stepped on the scale looked down and saw 195.4. Hmm, my immediate gut reaction was 'crap' that's all???? Then I mentally slapped myself and said 'what the heck is yo...

It's kind of amazing to me how quickly things are turning around for me. Seriously. For a long time I was very healthy. I worked out, I ate right, I was active and took care of myself. During that time I didn't step on the scale much. I don't even remember how much I weighed during that time, I'm not even sure if I owned a scale. Then, when I started gaining weight, I became obsessed with the scale. I would weigh myself every single day and sometimes more then once a day. Insane, I know. More insane was the rationalizations I used. I convinced myself that by weighing myself every morning I kept tabs on my weight so I wasn't surprised at weigh-in. Sounds reasonable and it was probably even true at one point. Then it became an obsession. My mood was determined by the number on the scale. If it went down, I had a good day. If it went up, a not so good day. I knew there were fluctuations that had nothing to do with my true weight, yet I let it rule my life. When I was...

I had real problems with my hand today. I was in complete agony this morning. Makes me think I shouldn't put off the surgery, but I'm going to wait until Christmas. Anyway, when I had the nerve conductance study done on Tuesday I had to go to a neurologist. I found it interesting because I've never been to one before. I find the study of the human body absolutely fascinating but especially the study of the nerves. Our nervous system is an amazing piece of work. We can touch something with our foot and know it in our brain immediately. Amazing. I find the doctors that study things like Adult epilepsy . It's just amazing that the human brain can short circuit, cause a seizure and they can study it and try to figure it out. Yes, I'm doing a terrible job of saying what I want to, but I'll continue to try. I had a friend who had epilepsy and nothing helped. Nothing. They tried all kinds of drugs and nothing would stop the seizures. He had to visit a bunch ...

Everything really starting to fall into place with this fitness revival. One area that I have a problem with is tracking my food intake. I always keep track of what I eat mentally, but actually sitting down and logging it....eh, not so much....But I need to do it because when I do it religiously it works. I know it does. It's worked for me in the past and I know it would work again. I just need to do it. So my goal for the coming week is to journal every bite every day. I'm on summer break, it's not like I can't take the time and do it..... Met with the personal trainer for the last time today. Of course, she tried to sell me more but I just can't afford it right now, so I'm on my own again. I worked with her 3 times and she had some good workouts and I could follow those. But I'm like, eh.... I don't know. I know I need to do weight training I just need to find a routine I love - for now. I will probably do her workouts just because they are tough...

For the last few days I've had tons to say about all kinds of stuff. Then yesterday {crickets}...... What happened? I honestly don't know. I wasn't that busy but I did have stuff to do all day, I guess I just never got around to blogging. Oh well... I do have lots to say today, so let's begin. I have to say I am feeling awesome!! Just Awesome!! I've been forcing myself to be more active and I'm beginning to really get into it. Let me explain. Yesterday I ended up sweeping and vacuuming the entire house because I did not feel like sitting while watching TV. Today I had a doctor's appointment and Hubby said he would pick me up. Instead of calling him, I rode my bike about 5.5 miles to the bus stop and caught the bus home. Cool huh??? It was for me. It is a definite shift in thinking and I'm digging it. Other things, I'm sleeping pretty good. The eating is really starting to fall into line too. I had a cookie in my hand ready to eat, and I end...

I am a scientist. Because of that I really do love numbers. I love figuring things out and having the numbers work. One of the things that I found works for me is the numbers for weight loss. When I lost all that weight back in 1998, part of what worked for me was keeping track of the numbers. I was with Weight Watchers and so I tracked points. A few years ago when I had the Body Bugg for the first time, I loved the numbers it gave me. I had all kinds of stats and numbers to deal with. Above is what the Body Bugg screen looks like. It shows the calories burned, calories consumed, and the deficit. It's only by creating a deficit can I lose weight. I really like the chart at the bottom. If I put my cursor over one of the bars on the graph it will tell me how many calories I burn per minute. It's rather awesome. Just thought I'd share if anyone is interested.

I wonder what is different now as opposed to two weeks ago? Two weeks ago I could not motivate myself to move. I was exhausted almost all the time. The thought of working out was just insane - insane I tell you. Yet here I am, a short 14 days later, and I'm totally pumped. I'm psyched about working out. I'm excited to eat right. I'm just excited. What changed?? I know it was me, but what exactly? Was it the build-up? Instead of just taking it day by day and winging it as I go, my usual routine, I planned and worked it out in my head. Wait, mental rehearsing!! I did that for 2 weeks, so when yesterday came I was ready to go. That's one thing that was lacking previously. Instead of envisioning the workout and the good feelings, I envisioned the getting ready, organizing everything, blah, blah, blah. I was exhausted before I even got out of my chair. No wonder. Also, with the food, while I thought about it all the time I didn't give it a lot of consideration. I ...

Yesterday was a rousing success. I ended the day having consumed 1550 calories and having burned 2300. That is a deficit of 750 calories. I was going for 1,000 but I'll take that. The first couple of days are always difficult when I'm changing how I eat. I get hungry and cranky and think about food more then normal, only because I'm figuring out the best meals for me. In a couple of days I will hardly think about food and just know what I want to eat. That's a little bit of the problem too. My go-tos are not the best choices so I have to put some effort into changing my thinking. It's not that hard, just takes a couple of days of conscious effort, then it will quickly become habit. I forgot to drink my glass of water this morning and had to go back for it after I started drinking my coffee. Drinking water first thing in the morning is yucky. Drinking it after coffee is double yucky. But I drank it and had my banana with peanut butter. That is one of the mos...