Step Away From the Cake

Don't you wish life came with a GPS? Okay, well many will argue that it does and they will then argue over their definition of that such as God, experience, parents, etc. Let us not go there. Also, I'm talking specific instructions; do this, turn right, turn left; not some general guidelines; do what's right, follow your heart, etc. Kind of like a college counselor. You want to be a teacher? Okay, you need to take these 8 classes in this order. You need to write this paper and read this book. Like that. I am a scientist so I like exact and specific. Unfortunately, at least for me, there is no GPS for my life. I have to make my own way and unfortunately I make a lot of wrong turns. Most times I'm able to figure out that I made a wrong turn and quickly get back on track. Other times I will take a turn that has worked for me before and keep taking it, not understanding why it's not working this time. You know what that is right? So, to quote Susan Powter, it...

So my attitude has been a whole lot better today. Hmmmm.... I followed my planned eating, the only thing is I did eat a little pasta salad and did not eat my apple. It was good, I was full but not overly stuffed. I got sleepy around 3pm but did not fall asleep when I got home like I have been doing. I actually feel pretty good. Yeah me!!! In the mail today was a promo for 24 hour fitness. I am definitely going to join next weekend and I laughed because the timing for this promo could not have been better. Just out of curiosity I went online to check the deal and see if it's better then the one I was planning on buying. It was better. Much. Much. Better. I decided to bite the bullet and join. So I have joined 24 hour fitness and signed up for 3 personal trainer sessions. I am excited. I might go over on Monday and check the place out. Part of the promo is to celebrate their being in Hawaii for 15 years. I joined when then opened but quit after about 5 years. So it's be...

Yesterday's post apparently did not come out the way I planned it. Sometimes what it sounds like in my head and what it sounds like when written down are two very different things. The point I was trying to make is that while initially the comment kind of ticked me off, it really got to me thinking. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. - Albert Einstein Well, that's what I've been doing these past few months, the same thing over and over and wondering why nothing ever changes. But one little comment got me to see that and to really think about things. I'm tired of being fat and feeling the way I feel. That I'm clear on. What wasn't so clear to me is that I'm not really doing anything to change that. I just complain about it. I make these half-assed plans, that I don't follow through on and wonder why nothing is working for me. DOH!!!! And while I might have known what I was doing deep d...

It's funny how a little thing can really set me off sometimes. I got a comment, upon intial reading, made me think - oh screw that. They have no idea what they are talking about. That was my initial reaction. But a couple of minutes contemplation really got me to thinking. I have developed an attitude that is not me. I have developed an outlook that is not me. Where did this come from and how did it happen? Hmmmm.... So why exactly do I keep this blog? That is something I haven't really thought about in a long time. I've been doing this for almost 8 years now. Wow. When I started I thought I would do it for a while, I never thought I'd last 8 years. But back to the question, why do I keep doing it? There is definitely one reason that is no ones business but my own, so I won't even go there but I will say, that in and of itself is no reason to keep it going. I do write for me and no one else. Comments are not important to me at all, in fact I've ofte...

That is how I feel. My eating for the last 2 days has been totally out of control. I do not possess the ability to say no. To anything. Chips. Egg Rolls. Mini eclairs. Candy. You name it, I have eaten it. I have got to stop this and get things under control or I will end up losing control completely and totally. This has got to stop. How?? Well, tomorrow I am only taking enough money to buy a salad and nothing else. I will bring my breakfast. I will bring a piece of chicken and buy my salad for lunch. I will eat my apple for snack. That is it. That's all. No More. I have got to get this under control or I will positively burst. Okay, breath!!! Feeling better and more in possession of my faculties. I made the decision to put off any changes until next week, but it seems to have backfired on me. By saying I was putting it off I apparently gave myself permission to go crazy. That was not my intention. So I need to back track and fix things. I need to start wearing my heart rate...

I am gearing up for June 1. I know that you shouldn't wait to start something, you should just jump right in, but I know that for this big a change I really need to plan. So that's what I'm doing. I'm planning. I have a list of things I need to do and things I want to accomplish. I'm reading Bob Harper's The Skinny Rules and he makes a statement in there about how the Biggest Loser takes the contestants away from everything to break their routines and relationships with food. That's kind of what I'm trying to do. Break all my normal routines and make huge changes. Now all these changes will not remain, some won't work out, some will work for a while, some will have to change once school starts again. But for now large, sweeping change is what I need. I'm ready to shake things up and change things completely...