Step Away From the Cake

I am off!!! I am going to workout and track my food. I am absolutely going to do this. This is freaking ridiculous. I've been doing this same dance for a couple of years now and it's getting absolutely insane. I watch the Biggest Loser when it's on and one of the things they keep telling the contestants is that they have to believe they are worth it. Worth the time, energy, etc. I think that's wrong. I don't think you have to believe you are worth it, but you have to believe you're capable. Almost everyone is capable of almost anything, yet not believing you can do something holds you back and complicates life. That's what I've been doing. Holding myself back and making things more complicated. So things are changing. Starting right here and now. I am not going to doubt myself. I am going to believe in myself. I am not going to use excuses. I am going to accomplish. No more!!! It ends now...... Okay, I'm off to workout.,

Seriously!! I can be such a moron sometimes it absolutely amazes me. I have been struggling to get back into the workout routine. I have had trouble waking up in the morning and coming home at night and being just exhausted. I have been beat. I keep thinking that if I just get some more sleep I would feel better and have the energy to workout. So I've been trying to get more sleep. That amounts to naps when I get home from work and going to bed earlier and earlier. Not that I'm getting up any earlier...in truth I'm getting up later and later. I've also been avoiding getting back into the dog walking habit because I've been tired. I have been so tired at times I couldn't tell the difference between silver dollars and quarters, I swear.... Well tonight I decided things would be different. I stopped and got an ice coffee on the way home (I also got some snacks but we won't go there) so I wouldn't fall asleep when I got home. After 15 minutes w

This is a test grom my taet.

Well, I let the whole week slip away. I was telling myself all day that I would workout tonight but when I got home it just didn't happen. I have a really hard time getting out of bed in the morning. Once I'm up I'm fine, but getting up is the problem. So I have to come up with a tactic that will get me up in the morning. I'm not sure what it is but I have to come up with something. So tomorrow I try again. It's Friday, and easy day to get excited about because, well...it's Friday. So give it another go tomorrow. If I could get up tomorrow and work out, then I know I could do it Saturday and Sunday because I don't have to be to work until 9. Monday I know I could do it because I have off. I'd have 4 days of working out under my belt and the beginning of a routine forming. So that's my goal for tomorrow - get up and work out.

Last week I had all these plans to "start over" to get everything organized and hit the ground running on Monday. Yeah, that didn't happen. I'm not sure what exactly went wrong but something did. I haven't been doing very well this week at all. In fact yesterday I was in such a bad mood it actually shocked me. There's a whole lot of stupid sh*t going on at work and yesterday it was just making me crazy. Anyway, the stupid sh*t at work has led me to realize I need to get my act together if I don't want to put up with it anymore. I was so out of it earlier that I stopped this post and moved on with my life. Well, now I'm back. As I posted over on Flo's Place, I had to admit to some disturbing truths.  I generally feel like I'm inadequate.  Lots of times I feel like I'm an impostor in my own life.  I'm a teacher yet I do not feel like I am qualified to teach. I do a lot of things that I usually feel like I'm just not qualified to

I love sleep. I love sleeping. I am generally very, very good at sleeping. I can sleep anytime, anywhere for any amount of time. I have the ability to tell myself I will sleep for X minutes and fall asleep and wake up in X minutes. It is awesome. It is a talent I love having and I utilize frequently. There is nothing like taking a 10 minute siesta in the middle of the day at my desk. Seriously, I can do that and wake up feeling awesome. One of my favorite things in the world to do is nap on the weekends. There is something about taking a nap in the middle of the day that is so decadent...I love it. So sleep is something I am really, really good at. Except for last night. I could not sleep at all. I worked until 10, then came home and went to bed around 10:45. And I was up and down all night. First, I couldn't get comfortable because of the dogs. Then my feet were bothering me, then the rain woke me up. You have to understand, I have slept through all kinds of things that di