Step Away From the Cake

After writing last nights post I was able to avoid eating anything else. That was good. My stomach felt horrible, still does this morning, so not eating was definitely a good thing. On the agenda is a hike with Bella this morning - that should be interesting. Then home for some housework and some school work. Tomorrow I work during the day but I'm off by 4. Hubby and I actually get to spend a night at home together tonight. With him working this tennis tournament we haven't really seen each other in a week and won't see each other next week. So the plan for today: eat only whole foods avoid processed foods no counting calories just eat until satisfied Should be pretty easy since I have lots to do today.  Okay, time to get ready.

I made the discovery (again) that food adversely affects me. That my eating out of control makes me tired and causes me to gain a ton of weight. Doh!!! So I decided to eat no more than 1500 calories and to track everything I ate. I did that. Yesterday. I ate ~1600 calories, worked both at school and Walgreens and felt pretty good. Woke up this morning feeling pretty good, though a little tired. Stuck to my eating plan all day and was feeling pretty darn good. When I got home I got unbelievably tired. I lay down on the couch and fell asleep for about an hour. I basically felt like I had been run over with some  honda mowers . Woke up hungry. I mean hungry. Had a giant slice of watermelon and that helped for about 10 minutes. Then I was hungry again. I gave in and had a cookie that was on the counter. Lord, that was good!!! Then I decided to eat dinner, pasteles and spanish rice. One word. Yuck. But I ate it anyway. Oh and while I was waiting for it to heat I had 2 more cookies.

Seriously!! I've been kind of kidding myself. I keep telling myself that I'm probably not gaining weight. That I'm just a little bit overweight. That I haven't put on that much weight. That I don't really eat that much. That I eat good. That I work out enough. Bull Shit!!!! I just got back from the doctors and what's the first thing they did?? Weigh me. Ummmm, yeah.... I have been fooling myself. I have gained weight. A lot of weight. And it's time to get serious about it. Okay, as I wrote that I was eating dinner - pork chop and mashed potatoes. After I ate I got sooooo tired that I had to lay down on the couch for about 40 minutes. Ugh!!! I was completely and totally exhausted though. I have got to get my eating under control. I have no choice at all. I can not go on like this. Things have to change and they have to change right now. I am going to stick to a 1500 calorie diet. I will record my food in Fat Secret and I will not, not, not eat