Step Away From the Cake

I worked last night until 10pm - also known as closing - and had to be back this morning at 7:30 am - known as opening. Do you know how hard that is? I have no problem working until 10 and I have no problem working at 7:30, but doing it back to back.....really tough. I think it has to do with the type of work, being on my feet all day. Anyway, brutal. I'm working tomorrow, Monday, and Tuesday, then I have Wednesday, Thursday and Friday off. Woo Hoo!!! Summer school ends on Thursday so that's awesome. And, I have an appointment with my thesis advisor on Wednesday. What a week this will be. Plus I will be running. I will run on Monday, Wednesday and Friday...Woo Hoo!!! On a completely different topic, I was reading another blog and it got me to thinking. This person is having some medical issues and it trying to make lifestyle changes gradually. I'm all for that, gradual is the way to go and will probably help the changes stick but.... Picture this, you are in a horrib...

I've known this for years, but it's only lately that I really know it. Lately, I have been harnessing the power of my mind to get through my life. I work until 10 pm and can't go to sleep right when I get home, so I'm usually up until 11ish. The birds wake up at 5:45 every single day, never fail. Initially I was thinking this is not enough sleep for me and I would walk around tired all day. But once I put it out of my mind and decided that it was plenty of sleep - I felt fine. Once I cleaned off my desk and didn't feel so snowed under with paperwork, I've actually been able to keep on top of things and become more productive. Along with that, once I went through all the mail and opened all the bills I found things weren't as bad as they seemed. Then, in a complete shocker, I realized yesterday that our financial situation will change next month instead of in September like I originally thought. Do you know how awesome that is??? My goal in the b...

I'm really in a good mental place right now. While things aren't perfect, I feel like they are under control. I am making progress on things I want to make progress on and I'm doing some things I enjoy. And I'm running. I love running. I love the feeling of my feet pounding the ground. I love the feeling when my lungs are sucking air. I love everything about running. And I'm happy I'm back to it. My eating is okay, Not great, it could definitely be better, but I'm feeling good about it. So all things considered, I'm in a very good place right now and I'm happy. It's amazing what can happen when you turn off the self flagellation.

So I'm noticing a trend here. When things are bad and I'm feeling horrible I have a lot to say. I tend to blog and blog and blog. When things are going well though I have nothing to say. Apparently I spend more time living my life and not talking about it. Interesting. Yesterday I did something I have not done in a very long time. I went shopping. Not shopping exactly, but looking. I need a couple of things for my classroom but I don't know exactly what I'm going to use to do what I want. Yesterday Hubby worked so I just went cruising. I went to 4 or 5 different stores and I just looked around. I bought a couple of things I needed and wanted and I spent 4 hours doing it. It was awesome. One of the things I purchased was a tie-dye kit. I have some tank tops that I love that have gotten some stains on them. Because of the stains I can only wear them around the house. Since they are really comfortable and fit perfectly, this bums me out. So I decided I would dye t...

As hard as it is for me to admit, I really have to admit - I'm a control freak. I like to think that I am a go with the flow type of person. That I can adapt to change and move on easily. But the truth of the matter is I'm not. I need to be in control and know what's going on. I need to have at least a handle on things or I become overwhelmed and start to shut down. I have had a huge pile of crap on my desk for weeks. The stack was getting bigger and bigger and I was just ignoring it. As a result I wasn't really working on anything I needed to be working on because I would have needed to dig into that huge stack and I just couldn't face it. It seemed like far to monumental a task. So I started to shut down. I stopped working on things. I stopped thinking about things. I just would get on the computer and play games. Just play games. And eat. When I shut down I eat. So yeah, that wasn't working for me at all. Then the other day I just got inspired. I went ...

Let's see if I can make sense of this. There may be a lot of random stuff so get a cup of coffee, sit down, and relax - here goes. I've been working at Walgreen's for about a month now. Mostly I work the register up front so I get to see what people are really buying. In that month I have learned a few things. Namely, people eat way, way too much processed food. Also, our tax dollars are paying for that processed food in the form of food stamps (or whatever it's called now). I will see people come through and buy $80 - 90 worth of soda, candy, chips, junk, and pay with their EBT card. WTF?!?!?!?! The government provides this service to people in need so they don't starve. Well guess what?? They are starving if that's what they eat. That stuff is not nutritious and will kill you and not just from weight, though the vast majority of them are obese. This may be horrible to say, but by seeing those people, the condition they are in and the things they buy, ...

One month later, same problem . When will I learn???? Now I have even less excuses though. I am not teaching full time only summer school 2 hours a day. So I have not excuse for being so out of control. My eating the last few days has been abominable. Lots of crap, high sugar, fat, salt, low in veggies and whole food. Awesome. No wonder I feel like total crap. At this point in my morning I am not hungry and so I am not eating. I am going to wait until I feel hungry before I eat and then I will be eating only whole foods today. No garbage at all. I want to not eat sugar and grains for 1 week. I want to eat only meats and fruits/veggies to see how I feel. I think I have issues with wheat, I've thought that for years, and have significantly reduced my intake. But I haven't cut it out of my life completely and I really, really need to do that. I'm sitting here looking at a big ole pile of crap on my desk and it suddenly hit me, my whole life has spun out of control. I...