Step Away From the Cake

All together now....(sung in cheesy musical tones).... I have eaten myself into oblivion and it's time to get my act together.  Sidebar:  Interesting how "eaten myself into oblivion"  is so different from what it used to be.  When I said that before I would mean that I ate an entire package of cookies and absolutely anything else I could get my hands on.  Anything...I have been know to eat Cool Whip right out of the freezer when in the midst of a binge. Nothing was safe from me.  Now that terms means that I had a small pack of cookies, a small bag of M&M's and a Reese's candy after having a very large breakfast and lunch.  Not exactly the same thing. I don't feel the same - before I would feel like my belly was ready to explode and that I could hardly move. Now I just feel a little sick.  Back to the point of this post, so after eating like that for a couple of days and really not feeling good at all, it's time to get back on the wa...

The time has come to make some. I have started the process but it's not easy. Some of the decisions are extremely difficult. I wish they were as easy as picking out some new radii shoes, but they are not. The good news is that by starting to make these decisions I am starting to relax and not stress so much. That is really, really good. I am losing the knot in my stomach and my neck. My shoulders are actually starting to relax downwards. It feels like they have been hunched up around my ears for months. A couple of weeks ago one of the teachers at school remarked about how I had such good posture. In reality I was holding myself so stiff and straight and tight - really, really tight. So things are changing, I'm starting to feel better and hopefully I will be able to get back on track soon. Very, very soon.

Why can't I seem to follow through on my plans? Why am I not working out? Why do I keep letting myself get like this? What the hell is going on??? Questions. I haz dem. I just can't seem to get, and keep, the ball rolling. I'm not sure what action to take or how to go about it. Seriously. I have never, knowingly, been in this position in my life. I do not know what to do next and I don't know how I'm going to fix this.