Step Away From the Cake

Thursday was not fun at all, that was the day I got the laser surgery on my gums.  Not. Good.  Yesterday was much better though still not great.  My gums were still swollen and the whole front of my upper jaw felt weird.  This morning things feel much, much better.  I have some pain up in my jaw near my nose, but considering the state that spot was in I'm not surprised.  But feeling much better today.  I discovered that it is very hard to get enough food when you are only eating soft foods.  Yesterday I ate:  2 scrambled eggs with baked hash brown,  banana with peanut butter,  fruit smoothie,  can of chicken noodle soup, mashed potatoes with sour cream and a small piece of fish.  I'm hoping I can get a little more nutrition today.  I can not have anything hard or crunchy or anything that might get caught in the gums - like stringy meat.  I also can not chew or bite on the front part where the damage is the worst....

Today I had laser surgery on my gums. Just the upper ones but that was enough. It actually wasn't too terribly horrible. The periodontist numbed my entire upper mouth, the roof all the way up to my nose. Numb...numb....numb He then goes through with a laser and removes all the bad tissue. Next he goes through and cleans my teeth below the gumline. Finally he goes through with the laser again which cause the gums to clot and seal to the teeth. This procedure replaces the old one of cutting the gums, pulling them back and cleaning the teeth, then sewing the gums back in place. This is much less painful, less invasive, and less expensive. It also promotes bone growth in areas where the bone has deteriorated. It really wasn't as bad as it sounds. The worst part was the smell of burning flesh. Yuck!!! For the next 7-10 days though my diet is severely restricted. I can't eat anything hard or crunchy. Basically nothing that requires me to put pressure on my upper teeth. ...

So almost a week ago I decided to stop this nonsense with trying to lose weight. I decided to just start loving myself right here, right now and forget all that other insanity. So, how's that working for me? Well, pretty darn good actually. In 7 days the scale has gone down 3.4 pounds. I feel great. I'm not focused on food and that is awesome. Other things are actually creeping into my pea brain. I haven't worked out in a couple of days but I've been pretty busy. I just try to keep moving during the day. My naps have shrunk from an hour to 20 minutes - and that is more normal for me. I'm sleeping pretty good at night if I could just stop grinding my teeth. I've actually been waking myself up. Not. Cool. So overall things are going well. I start back to school next week and I have things to get done so I'm off.

So since my decision to let go of the idea of losing weight and to just be happy, I've felt awesome. I have not overeaten like I thought I would. I have not lost my mind around food at all. In fact, I have gone for long periods without eating. I have let hunger guide me. I have been more responsive to my body. And I have been happier knowing that I can eat when I'm hungry. I made my decision to stop this nonsense days ago, I just didn't post about it until yesterday. But I have felt so much happier and lighter since I made the decision that I think I may have hit on a problem with the 'weight loss' industry. All my life I have bought into the notion that I was not good enough. I was too heavy, I needed to lose weight, my body wasn't very good. Well I've come to the realization that that is just nonsense. By buying into that bull I have set up a situation where food became the focus of my life. What I could/could not eat. When I could eat. Woul...

For most of my adult life I have been struggling with my weight - and I do mean struggle. Since I've been 20 or so I've never been happy with my weight or how I look. I have dieted and exercised and done crazy, stupid things all in the name of trying to look good. What exactly has that gotten me? Not much. So I'm done. I'm tired of fighting and battling myself. Starting today, right here and right now, I'm going to accept my body just the way it is, I'm going to treat it with respect, and I'm going to get off this roller coaster. I am going to eat right because it makes me feel good. When I eat healthy I have the energy and stamina to live my life the way I want to. I'm going to work out to keep my heart healthy. I'm not going to try and run marathons or do crazy things, I'm just going to get some activity every day. I'm going to do things I like to do, walking, running, bike riding, etc. Whatever strikes my fancy. I'm tired ...