Hardcore was apparently only passing through

-
I've been doing a lot of thinking over the past 3 weeks and some things have occurred to me. At this point in time I don't really have anything I'm passionate about except teaching. I absolutely love teaching and all that's involved in it. I love the planning and the grading, I love it all and am very passionate about doing it well. In my home life though, there are lots of things I love, but nothing that really gets me all excited and fired up. I don't know if it's me or just a phase I'm going through. I have danced with depression before and though I've never gotten diagnosed, because I won't take medication, I know what it feels like. Part of the problem is the house. We have run into a roadblock that I'm not sure can be moved. The worst part of this roadblock is there is nothing I can do about it. It's in the hands of other people. So we may lose the house and there's nothing we can do about it. This particular roadblock will also make it impossible for us to buy a house here in Hawaii. I'm trying to look at the bright side which may mean moving to Colorado - like we planned for 2 years. That is not bad, in fact I almost like it more than staying here. But, as I said, I have no control and nothing brings me down quicker then not being in control of my own life. Anyway, I can't change the current circumstances I can only hope that all involved will move quickly and resolve the issue. What I can do is make alternative plans. Since there is a very real possibility that this may not get cleared up, I am going to start making plans for the Colorado move. Action, or the thought of action, immediately makes me feel better. Already I can feel the cloud starting to lift. I am apparently a control freak, crazy person who needs to have something to do.

Another thing, I'm not pleased with the way my life is structured at this point. I'm not crazy about the day-to-day stuff. This probably sounds insane because this is something I can control. And I need to take control of it. I've kind of drifted along and let things happen to me and routines develop. No more. Maybe that's what leads to my depression, the not feeling in control. Well, time to take that control back and it starts right now.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

There are many ways to measure success,

-
and today I found yet another one. The Great Aloha Run this morning was just awesome. I didn't break any records, it was not my best time by far, but I think this was one of my best races ever. After getting up at 4 a.m., driving to the finish line, catching a bus to the start, standing in line for the port-a-potties(more on this later), I still found myself with over 45 mins before the race started. So I found a place to sit and people watched for 1/2 an hour - that is always fun. Finally, at 6:45 we headed out to the start. One of the things the Great Aloha Run does is they have the Sounds of Freedom. These are military units from all over the island that run in formation singing cadence the whole way. They line up on the side of the road and they have a silent start 8 minutes before the race starts. It's always a special sight to see them go. I'm a flag waving fool and when I see our military I just get all gushy. I feel so proud to live in a country where young
Read more

Colloidal Silver

-
colloidal silver is very fine particles that are suspended in liquid, usually water. This apparently has antimicrobial properties and has been used externally to treat wounds and burns to prevent infection. Working in the lab we get lots of nasty, nasty burns. You ain't been burned till you've been burned with hot sodium hydroxide - yow momma!!!! Anyway, we always kept a jar of colloidal silver around and used it on burns. It not only helped it heal it seemed to reduce the pain. I don't know how it just did. Now, some folks think you should drink this. They say it has antibiotic properties and is fairly harmless to drink. I don't know if that's true but it sure would be nice if it was. I hate taking antibiotics for a number of reasons. It would be nice to be able to drink something and have the same thing happen. colloidal silver has also been used to keep potable water drinkable for long periods. This sounds like some pretty amazing stuff. Being the scien
Read more

My blog is great!!!

-
Look to the left there. My blog has been rated by blogged.com as Great!!! I scored 8.5 out of 10. Woo Hoo!!! I don't normally get excited over things like this, but I'm on a mission to create great blogs and this is just a little validation. So for some reason I was incredibly busy last night and stayed up way past my bedtime. As a result I didn't get up this morning. Well, that and the fact that is was freaking cold. We are in this spring weather cycle where it is warm and beautiful during the day, and cold, cold, cold at night. Makes for good sleeping but hard getting out of bed. Fe-Lady is raising funds for a really, really good cause. Go here and help her out why don'tcha. In my humble opinion there is not enough we can do to help out our American Heroes. So go, give, it'll feel good...... That's it for now. I need to get some work done.
Read more