Step Away From the Cake

If you look at my sidebar over there you will see that I gained two pounds this week.  I'm not upset about that for a couple of reasons.  First, I've eaten a lot of crap this week - that has to be the thing I hate about Christmas time, all the freaking goodies.  What exactly does celebrating Christmas have to do with eating sweets???  Second, I have not been drinking enough water.  I just haven't.  When I'm at school I keep a cup with ice water on my table and as I talk or help the kids I drink from it.  Over the course of a day I will drink two of those - about 90 ozs. When I'm at home I keep a water bottle handy but I just don't drink from it much.  Thirdly is the distinct lack of activity.  I've been trying to workout but my heart just has not been in it.  Some of that has to do with the upcoming move.  When I feel overwhelmed, which I do, or have too much to do, which I do, I tend to do nothing.  I go into a state where it'...

After my post last night about my new food journal, I got to thinking. I really felt like working out in the morning but the thought of running just didn't sit with me. I realized that the last few times I ran the bad parts far outweighed the good parts. That feeling of euphoria at having run was completely overshadowed by the sore knee and the aching back and the ankle that has this weird pain and the big toe that hurts, you get the idea. So even though I felt like doing something I really did not feel like running. So I said to myself, Self, you don't have to run. No one is holding a gun to your head saying run. Maybe I kept jumping in too fast with the running and the circuit training with Jillian. Maybe, because of my inconsistency, I would try to pick up where I left off and I was actually doing my body a disservice. Maybe if I started slower and worked on doing something consistently then I could build up to running and working out with Jillian. Hmmmm... makes se...

As generally happens, as soon as I give up - throw my hands in the air and admit defeat - things start to come back to me. I woke this morning slightly more motivated then I was yesterday. I had decided to buy a book that was recommended by another blogger and so off to the bookstore I went. I ended up not finding the book I wanted but I found a great food tracker. When I was doing WW I really, really liked the tracker that they sell. The problem with it is that there is only a column for points. If you're not doing WW it's not very useful. I've tried a number of times to make it work but it just didn't cut it for me. Anyway in looking around the bookstore I came across a food tracker that is very similar to the WW one but has room for calories, fat, carbs, water, supplements, activity, etc. It's perfect for me. At least I think so. One of the things that I know generally works for me is writing down my food, but I can't just write it anywhere - I...

I still have zero motivation or desire to do anything. I just don't feel like it. So I'm not. I fought it all day yesterday and felt like crap all day. I'm done. I'm not going to force myself to do things I just don't feel like doing, that's the road to injury and accidents. So I'm going to do what I feel like doing, which in this case is not running. I'm tired of fighting myself and beating myself up over it. Besides, I know myself well enough to know that in a few hours or a day or so I'll be wanting to workout and run and that's what I want to feel. So that's it,I'm done. For now anyway.

I have so many things to do and absolutely no motivation. I have the time and opportunity to do the things I've been wanting to do for months yet I can not seem to get moving on them. Part of it is the weather. It's been cold and rainy here for the past two days and that makes me do a whole lot of this: Would you look at that? Everyone is passed out!!! It was that kind of day. Today's a little better but I still have zero motivation or desire to do the things I need and want to do. The things aren't that hard either. It's not like I'm looking for jobs in Philadelphia So it's time to fake it. I have a schedule of sorts and I'm just going to follow it. No thinking or changing my mind, just do it. Sometimes if I follow a schedule things will start to click into place. That's what I'm hoping for now. We shall see. So I'm off, the first thing on my schedule is a run.

Yesterday did not go as well as planned but I think it was okay. I had to chaperon a dance last night and I knew the food choices would not be good. I planned for it and was willing to accept a certain amount of leeway in my eating. What I did not know about and did not plan for was the sundae bar. Hello!!! I am weak in the face of macadamia nut ice cream, M&M's and gummy worms!!! I did indulge. I was also did not get to bed until midnight so it is possible most of what I ate got burned off. I ended up consuming about 2250 but I did run in the morning and walk around for 6 hours last night. So I'm calling the day a wash and moving on with my life. One thing that happened yesterday that really got me motivated (though not motivated enough to pass up the sundae bar) was my clothes. When I went to dress for this dance, which was a little fancy, I realized none of my really nice clothes fit me. I have some really nice pants and dresses but none of them fit. And it...