Step Away From the Cake

I ran into them at the tennis club last night at dinner. They were out in front of Safeway when I stopped on the way home. I just saw them in a shopping center. This has really gotten bad. All those dealers selling that crack right out in the open. It's horrible. And you have to know that I caved. I just couldn't resist, the pressure was too great. I ended up just buying a little, but a little is all it takes to get started. This is bad. It really is all downhill from here............ There it is. My drug of choice. This is bad. I can feel myself sliding down that long slippery slope of addiction. And I blame all those little girls!!! Luckily they are only around for a short time :)

I'm sitting here watching the sun lighten the sky and stain the clouds pink as it slowly makes it's way over the horizon. The last star is still slightly visible in the lightening sky, but it's glow is slowly fading. I love watching the transition from night to day and I love that it's happening earlier and earlier. Now, if only I was in the swimming pool instead of sitting here typing. Wednesday night I was unbelievably tired. I mean I just felt completely drained. I took the night off from working out. Yesterday morning I was still kind of tired so I didn't get up to work out. I felt much better last night, not so drained and wrung out. For dinner Hubby had gotten this really good bread, sun-dried tomato and basil. It's delicious and I love it. I had a couple of slices. Now, I have not had bread in about 2 months. In December I realized it may be a problem and made a real effort to stay away from it. It's become such a habit not to eat it that...

I stumbled across this video and, although I've seen it before, it really struck me this time. This whole thing is just like the global warming scam. Why didn't I see that before?? Why have I swallowed the kool-aid and not questioned it?? Why?? Why?? Why?? Yes, I want to lose weight because I like the way I feel when I'm a little thinner. But as I said earlier, do I want to work that hard?? Am I doing it for me or because I've been brainwashed??? I kind of hate when I come to realizations like this because I like to think I don't fall for this kind of stuff. But I guess no ones perfect :)

I knew that working in the adult theater would get to some of you :) I'm not going to say what I did. Maybe someday I'll tell you the story. If I were to lay out the story of my life you'd be shocked and amazed. Not because I'm so special or have done anything that fantastic, but because you'd see how far back my ADD goes. How completely neurotic I was at some points in my life, and amazed that I turned out almost normal with no major mental problems (I think :). Not much to say today. I'm kind of tired this week but I'm getting my workouts in. Oh yeah, over the weekend I picked up Making the Cut by Jillian Michaels . She's one of the trainers from the Biggest Loser. It's how to drop the last 20 lbs and get cut in 30 days. That's not exactly what I was looking for. I bought it for the workouts and I have to say, WOW!!! These are kick butt workouts that get my heart pounding and the sweat pouring. Wow!!! Actually, they are set up in ...

about my post the other day about needing to make a decision. I've upped my workouts - a lot - and I've really given it some serious thought. It's worth it. I want to be fit and buff more than I want to do triathlons. That truth came to me this morning when I was swimming and it kind of shocked me. As much as I love triathlons, I love being fit and feeling the way I feel when I am more. I've altered my schedule and am working out twice a day. I've reduced my swimming to twice a week and I'm planning on open water swimming on the weekends. I'm working on getting the biking in. Running has been shelved just temporarily. Losing some weight and strength training will help my running more than actual running at this point. I'm focusing on strength training and cardio intervals. I can already feel the difference. So there you have it. When I did my first triathlon 3.5 years ago, I was 20 lbs lighter than I am now. I did really well and I think the...

So I was tagged by Ellie and I have to state 7 random things about myself. Okay, here goes..... 1) When I was 18 I worked in an adult theater. I'll let you try to figure out what I did there :) 2) I entered the army at 22. I was supposed to go into intelligence. I was going to learn Russian and be a spy. I had lied on my application and the FBI scared me so much that I ended up getting out at the earliest possible moment. 3) I can be painfully shy. I have to force myself to talk to people, even people I know. As a result I don't have a lot of friends. 4) I am an unbelievable Anglophile. When I was in my late teens, early twenties, I was absolutely convinced that I was going to go to England and marry Andrew. I did not want to marry Charles because I had no desire to be queen. I thought Andrew was to die for. Still do :) I still follow the lives of the Royals like it's my job. They absolutely fascinate me. 5) I seriously do not understand the attraction of chil...

Almost every Saturday Hubby and I go out to lunch. It's the only day we really have together. We usually run errands and end up having lunch out. It's also about the only day I drink beer. I really like beer, I just don't drink it during the week. At lunch on Saturdays I will have 1 or 2 beers. It never fails after lunch that I will end up taking a nap. I always put it down to the alcohol in the beer and didn't really think too much about it. That was until yesterday. Yesterday I was reading and I felt like something sweet. We had some cookies in the kitchen so I had a couple of them. Within 45 minutes I was passed out on the couch. Again, not an unusual situation for a Sunday afternoon, except for a few things. First, I was really into the book I was reading and that usually keeps me awake and focused. Second, I wasn't tired at all. In fact, I couldn't nap just a little earlier because I was so sore from my brutal workouts on Saturday. I could not...

After my little fit on Friday, and trust me - there was a fit that went with that post, I've done some work. I've revamped my total workout structure. I've changed my whole schedule around and focused on what is most important to me, at least I think so. I went through my old journals last night and found the one for 2004 when I was really thin and very fast ;) Reading through it one thing that really caught my eye is how hard I worked. I was working out 2x everyday and doing 3 or 4 things on each day of the weekend. Of course my eating wasn't going great at the time, so maybe that was one reason why I had to work so hard. If I have my eating under control, will I have to work out that hard?? Do I want to work out that hard?? Is it worth all that work?? I don't know and these are some serious questions that I need to answer. I did some serious working out this weekend and it felt great. I'm sore now. I realized how far my fitness has fallen and how mu...