I always do this to myself

I make these grand plans that are completely impossible and then get down on myself when I can't live up to them. For example, my Bodybugg experiment. I wore it for 2 weeks just tracking everything. I learned that I eat just about as much as I burn hence no weight loss. That didn't upset me, it actually made me understand more what was happening and I was grateful. So I decide it's time to start losing. The Bodybugg program allows you to set up a weight loss program based on your preferences. They recommend 1 lb per week, I of course said no!! I want to lose 1.5 lbs per week. This is completely doable if you are not me!! The way it worked out I was supposed to burn 2400 cals per day and eat 1600. That would create a deficit of 700-800 cals a day leading to 1.5 lbs per week lost. Sounds easy right? Wrong!!!! In the 2 weeks I've been trying to do this I learned 2 things. 2 very important things. First, on my busiest day I burn around 2200 cals. Those are the days I fall into bed exhausted at night. There is no way I have the time or energy to burn 200 more calories on those days, just no way. Second, if I eat only 1600 cals a day by the third day I am so hungry I have a headache and will eat anything in sight. And that's what happened yesterday. I had restricted my calories for 4 days and by yesterday I was a monster. I met a box of little powdered donuts and ate almost the whole box. I'm sitting here, 16 hours after the incident and my stomach still hurts from it. A mere 200 more calories a day make a huge difference in my hunger levels.

So, I'm changing my plan. I'm still going to try and shoot for 2400 cals burned, but won't be upset if I only burn 2200, I just want to do it fairly consistently. As for eating, I'm aiming for between 1800-1900 cals a day. That is a level that keeps me satisfied, not full. Doesn't lead to donut binges, and is fairly easy to stick to. Now, at 2200 burned and 1900 eaten, I'm only looking at a 300 cal deficit a day. But that would still lead to a little over 1/2 a lb a week and that's way better than what I'm doing now. Which is nothing much.

So there it is. All my dirty little secrets. My personal failings that I try not to expose too much. My secret shame. It's all out there and I'm going to change it. Maybe it's time to start looking around for some good diet pills like orovo. But I think I'll try this first. One day at a time, starting today.