It's funny how things happen.
On my way to the pool this morning I was really down. It would take a long time to explain and I'm not even sure I could. Suffice it to say I have bouts where I just get tired of being responsible. Although I can handle responsibility well, I hate it. I get tired of having to make grown up decisions and planning for the future. My secret dream, the deep down one that you secretly harbor although you know it will probably never come true, is to just run away. Leave everything that I know and love and just go. Not disappear you understand, just leave. Not be responsible anymore to anyone but me. If I could I would do that tomorrow and not look back. I won't do it in the foreseeable future because my hubby is the complete opposite. He likes having a home and being stable and staying in one place. Before I met my husband I never held a job or lived in one place longer than 2 years. I have had my current job 5 years and lived in my house for 12 - UUUUGGGHHHH!!! Shoot me now!!!! So until I can talk him into running away, I'm stuck here.
So that's where my head was when I got to the pool. I'm doing my drills and thinking about this and thinking, well at least I can use racing as an excuse to travel to different places. Then, the lifeguard taps my head and asks me if I'm interested in a water safety class. I immediately start thinking, "Great, he thinks I suck at swimming. Maybe I'll just run away." Then the other lifeguard starts to tell me about this water safety instructor class that starts next week. You learn 9 different strokes in great detail and at the end you get certified to teach water safety. She says, " We are always looking for good swimmers like you." I of course, immediately look behind sure she's talking to someone else. ME???? A good swimmer???? ME????? She told me I was a strong swimmer even though I was slow (fast does not always equal good). She said speed would come with time but my stroke was pretty good and it held up even though I got tired. So that really boosted me up and made me feel not so down about staying in one place. I think I'll take the class. She said after this class is the lifeguard class and if I become a lifeguard the Y is always looking for them and then I could use the pool even more. Hmmmm, something to think about.
So that's where my head was when I got to the pool. I'm doing my drills and thinking about this and thinking, well at least I can use racing as an excuse to travel to different places. Then, the lifeguard taps my head and asks me if I'm interested in a water safety class. I immediately start thinking, "Great, he thinks I suck at swimming. Maybe I'll just run away." Then the other lifeguard starts to tell me about this water safety instructor class that starts next week. You learn 9 different strokes in great detail and at the end you get certified to teach water safety. She says, " We are always looking for good swimmers like you." I of course, immediately look behind sure she's talking to someone else. ME???? A good swimmer???? ME????? She told me I was a strong swimmer even though I was slow (fast does not always equal good). She said speed would come with time but my stroke was pretty good and it held up even though I got tired. So that really boosted me up and made me feel not so down about staying in one place. I think I'll take the class. She said after this class is the lifeguard class and if I become a lifeguard the Y is always looking for them and then I could use the pool even more. Hmmmm, something to think about.
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